


K-Pop Oneshots

by deadly_demonic



Category: B.A.P, EXO (Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21809002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadly_demonic/pseuds/deadly_demonic
Summary: Basically a collection of my oneshots. Mostly B.A.P, plus some others. Includes smut, suicide, stuff like that.
Kudos: 6





	1. BangLo - Missing you [t/w]

Bang Yongguk came home earlier as usual, waiting for his boyfriend to arrive.  
It was Junhong's birthday and, of course, Yongguk bought him a present.  
He put the small package on the table, lit the candles and sat down. It shouldn't take long anymore.

4:39 PM  
Yongguk sighed and looked at his watch again. He should already be home, the bus usually stops right in front of the House at 4:15.  
He became nervous. The younger one has never been late. Never. And in case he was, he would have called him. Junhong never wanted Yongguk to be worried about him.  
"Damn, what are you doing?" he said, looking at the watch again. 5:23 PM. Meanwhile it had become dark outside, snowflakes were falling, hitting the window.  
Again and again he called his boyfriend's phone, but there was no answer.

With another sigh, Yongguk blew out the candles and stood up. Suddenly the doorbell was ringing. As fast as possible, he made his way to the door.  
"God, where have you-" He stopped, when he saw the policeman standing in front of him. His heart was beating faster. "What... What's wrong?" Yongguk asked, having a bad feeling.  
The man looked at him with sad eyes. "May I come in? I think you should sit down."  
The boy nodded carefully and let him in. They went into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Bang Yongguk" the visitor began, "I'm sorry I have to tell you this. It's about Choi Junhong. He had an accident, some car hit him when he crossed a street."  
"What?? How could this happen? How is he doing?" Yongguk was almost yelling at him, staring in his face, hoping he would say that Junhong is okay.  
"He died. I am so sorry..."  
His words hit the boy like a bullet. Yongguk started shivering. He couldn't believe what he just heared.  
"No..." he whispered, not feeling the tears, that started running down his cheeks.

\---

When Yongguk arrived at home after the funeral, he went into the kitchen and opened the cupboard. With a bottle of vodka in his hand he took a seat on the balcony, watching the colorful city. It looked so lively, that he almost laughed about the sarcasm of this situation.  
Then he felt the tears coming again and started drinking. But not even the alcohol was able to numb the pain, that Junhong's death had caused. After a while he went back inside, a bit tipsy.  
"Fuck, Zelo, why are you doing this to me?" he said, looking at an old picture of them. He realized that he just used the old nickname he gave his boyfriend when they met the first time. Yongguk smiled a little, remembering this day.

-Three Years Ago-

"Gukkie, are you coming? We have to go or we'll be late!"  
"I'm ready!" Yongguk answered, running down the stairs. Himchan was waiting in front of his car, smirking at him. "I thought you are looking forward to this party. And now you need that much time?"  
"Hey, you said there will be a cute guy, so I have to look nice. I don't want to be single any longer."  
"Wrong." he said, "Jongup said there will be someone you might like. I just gave you the information after he told me. So don't blame me if he's not your type, blame Uppie. Well... if I let you do that." He laughed.  
Yongguk smiled. Himchan and Jongup were just so cute together. He wanted a relationship like this, too.  
When they arrived at Jongup's home, he was waiting for them at the door. "Channie~" he ran right into Himchan's arms and kissed him, then he came over to Yongguk. "Hi Yonggukie." he said, giving him a hug. "Well then let's go inside. I've someone here you should meet."  
They went into the livingroom, where lots of people were standing or dancing to the music. "Wait right here, don't move." Jongup told the other boys and disappeared. After about two minutes, he came back together with a pink haired boy, that seemed to be younger than Yongguk.  
"Hi, m- my name is Choi Junhong. Nice to meet you." He said with a shy smile on his face.  
"I'm Bang Yongguk. This is a really cool hair color you got there."  
"Thanks..." The boy blushed a bit. 'He's cute.' The oldest thought, still fascinated of his pink hair. It looked very soft and he had the wish to touch it.  
"Okay guys, we're leaving you alone now." Himchan laughed, then he and Jongup went into another room.  
"Should I get us something to drink?" Yongguk asked, because he felt a bit uncomfortable standing there with him, no one saying a word.  
"You- you don't have to. I mean... I can get something by myself, I don't want to bother you."  
"You don't! But you can come with me if that's better."  
He agreed and they went into the kitchen, where they met Daehyun, who was responsible for drinks. "Hey Gukkie, long time no see. What would you like to drink?"  
"Aah, I think a Long Island Iced Tea. What do you want, Junhongie?"  
The younger boy looked a bit uncertain. "I don't know... I dont like the taste of alcohol so could you mix it with somehing that covers it?"  
"Sure."  
A few hours later, they both were sitting on the roof, drunk but happy. Junhong's head was laying on Yongguk's shoulder. He looked at the stars, silently, until a question formed in his head. "Gukkie?"  
"Yeah?"  
The younger one turned his head a bit, to look at his face. "What nickname would you give me?"  
"Hm, I think I would call you... Zelo."  
"Zelo? And why?"  
"Well, it just fits you. I don't know. You just look like... like Zelo."  
Junhong chuckled lightly. "Okay. Then call me Zelo whenever you want."

"Zelo..." Yongguk whispered and suddenly, he found himself sitting on the floor, crying his eyes out. He would never feel the boy's soft lips on his own again, or the warm skin under his fingers. This thoughts made him totally collapse and he started screaming into the darkness of the room. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STOP BEING DEAD? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? WHY HAD IT TO BE YOU? I NEED YOU! I NEED YOU SO MUCH! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU! JUST COME BACK TO ME! I beg you..."

\---

He woke up the next morning, having a hangover. Carefully opening his eyes he realized, that he was laying in the bathtube. The mirror above the sink was broken, his hand bloody. Yongguk tried to get his memories back, but it didn't work. After he bandaged his hand, he went out of the bathroom, when he suddently heared something. It sounded like... a voice? When he slowly entered the livingroom, he saw the silhouette of someone, standing in front of the window. "Ya! Who are you and what are you doing in my livingroom?" he asked, but when he got closer to the person, his breath stopped for a few seconds. "No... Thats impossible... You- you are dead! ...Or not?"

Junhong looked at him with a soft smile on his lips. "I'm just dead if you forget me."  
"You are not real, right? You're just an imagination." Yongguk felt the tears in his eyes again. He wanted him to be real. He wanted to hug him and kiss him, telling him he was sorry for drinking. But he knew this was not possible, when the boy answered.  
"Yes. I'm just inside your head. If you tell me to go, I will. It's your choice."  
"NO! I don't want you to go! Please stay, even if can't touch you, seeing you and talking is better than nothing."

\---

The weeks went by and Yongguk almost forgot about the fact that Junhong wasn't real. When they went outside he talked to his friend. The people around them were looking at him, asking each other: "Who is he talking to?", but he didn't care about them.  
But he got drunk more often, because Zelo wasn't always with him. Even if he wanted him to be. In this moments, the thoughts about the younger boy's death came back, didn't let him sleep, hurt him.  
After about half a year, it got too much for him. He went into the living room, where Junhong was sitting on the couch. Yongguk sat down next to him. "We have to talk."  
"I know." The boy answered, watching at him with a sad smile in his face.  
"It's just... I can't handle this anymore, Junhongie. It's like you're a drug, a drug I really need, laying right in front of me but I'm unable to take it. I thought I would be okay with that but I was wrong. And... I thought a lot about a solution for that and now I've got a question."  
"You want to know what happens if you commit suicide."  
"Yeah. I was wondering if maybe I will see you again in... Whatever comes after death. Not just see you... If I will be able to 'live' with you like before the accident."  
Zelo let out a sight before answering. "I think you forgot something, Gukkie. I'm just inside your head. Just an imagination of you. So I can't know anything that you don't know. I have no idea what happens if you do that. I'm sorry."  
Yongguk nodded slowly.

\---

Himchan's phone was ringing, waking him up from his nap. He answered the phone with a tired voice.

"Hello?"

"Himchan? Is that you?"

"Yongguk hyung?"

"Yeah... Am I disturbing you?"

"Well, actually I was sleeping but it's okay. What do you want?"

Himchan was confused. Yongguk hasn't talked to him for months, since he told him about seeing his dead boyfriend. Himchan had told him to forget. To carry on living his life.  
But the older one just got mad at him and went home without any other words.

"Himchan, I just want to say sorry. You were right. I should have stopped that when I was able to. But now it's too late. There's no way out anymore."

"Hyung are you crying? What happened?"

"It's okay. Everything will be fine. But Himchan?"

"Yes?"

"You have to talk to Uppie. I know you broke up with him, he told me everything."

"Then you should know that he cheated on me. There's no need to talk."

"He didn't. Please, just call him. He will explain everything. He loves you, Himchan. More than everyone else. He would never cheat on you. You have to take him back."

"I don't know if-"

"It's my last wish."

"WHAT?? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Yongguk let out a short laugh. "No. I already took the pills. I'm just waiting now."

"Damn Yongguk you can't just kill yourself! Come on, why do you do that? I'm so sorry, I should have taken care of you, I know that. But you can't let it end like this now! Zelo would not want you to do that!"

"Listen, it's too late now. And it's the only possibility to meet him again. I want it to be like this. In this life I could never be happy again. Please understand me. I haven't much time left now, so I just want to say thank you. For everything you did for me. For every second that you cared about me. For being my best friend such a long time. And I'm sorry for doing this to you, but I will be better after this. And now-"

He coughed, than he continued speaking with a weak voice.

"Now hurry to get your boyfriend back. You two belong to each other."

"O- okay."

"Goodbye, Himchan." Yongguk said, sounding tired and weak, but happy. Then there was nothing than silence.

"Yongguk?" the other boy asked carefully, but he didn't get an answer.  
"Goodbye hyung..." Himchan's voice was nothing more than a whisper, when he hung up.


	2. BangLo - Missing you pt.2

"Goodbye, Himchan."

He felt tired. He knew that it was over now. When he closed his eyes, he heard Himchan say something, but he could not understand it.   
Only a few seconds later, he fell asleep, feeling as if he was pulled away, into a flashing light, by an invisible hand and everything went white.

\---

"You damn idiot!" someone shouted.   
Yongguk opened his eyes. He felt like he had been sleeping for a very long time. At first, there was too much light shining into his eyes, but when he got used to it, he saw Junhong standing next to him. The boy had tears in his eyes.   
"What did you think you were doing? Why didn't you listen to me?"   
Yongguk looked around. He was lying in a bed, everything looked like... a hospital room?   
"Are you even listening to me?"   
"I... What happened?" He tried to sit up, but his whole body started to hurt, so he stopped moving.   
"What happened? You should know what happened, dumbass!" He seemed really angry. 

Right in the moment when Yongguk wanted to answer, Himchan entered the room. When he saw his best friend being awake, a smile appeared on his face. Then he put a hand on Zelo's shoulder. "Calm down a bit, maknae. He just woke up you shouldn't be mad at him now. You shoud be happy he's alive."   
"I know... I'm sorry hyung..." he said now with a calmer voice and looked down to the ground. "I'll leave you guys alone for a while now. Oh and Yonggukkie hyung... Welcome back." Himchan smiled, before leaving the room. 

Then, Zelo sat down on the edge of the bed, silently taking his boyfriend's hand, still looking away from him. "I was so worried... I'm sorry for being mad at you... I thought I would lose you..." He sounded like he was crying and when Yongguk was taking a look, there really were tears on his beautiful face.   
"Junhongie... Please, tell me what happened."   
The boy wiped his tears away with the other hand before he started talking. "It's no surprise that you don't remember. We were at this club, you know... After leaving, you wanted to drive us home but I said no because you were way too drunk, I wanted us to walk... We argued a lot, then you decided to drive no matter what I was saying and told me to walk if I didn't want to get in the car with you, so I was going home by myself... Well, about an hour later, I got the call from the hospital that you had been falling from a bridge into the river with that fucking car... You were in coma for almost a month, until now. I'm so glad you are okay, hyung..."   
Yongguk didn't know what to say. So it all just had been a dream. None of them was dead. Happily, he pulled on his arm, making him come closer so he was able to hug he boy. "I'm so sorry for everything, baby... It won't ever happen again, I promise. I love you~"   
"I love you too Yongguk hyung" he said and the older could feel him smile on his neck. 

\--- 

Two months later, Yongguk came home earlier than usual. He was nervous and excited, because today was Zelo's birthday and he bought him a very special gift, hoping he wouldn't laugh or, what would be much worse, leave Yongguk when he gave it to him.   
A look at the time showed him, that it shouldn't take long anymore until he arrived. 

4:39 PM   
Yongguk sighed and looked at his watch again. He should already be home, the bus usually stops right in front of the House at 4:15.   
He became nervous. The younger one has never been late. Never. And in case he was, he would have called him. Junhong never wanted Yongguk to be worried about him.   
"Damn, what are you doing?" he said, looking at the watch again. 5:23 PM. Meanwhile it had become dark outside, snowflakes were falling, hitting the window.   
Again and again he called his boyfriend's phone, but there was no answer.

Suddenly, the doorbell was ringing. As fast as possible he made his way to the door. 

But then he stopped and remembered the dream he had while he had been in coma. Right now, the situation was absolutely the same like back then. What if... 

Another ring of the doorbell made him jump a little. Then, he slowly opened the door. 

"Holy shit!" 

Confused, the person in front of the door looked at him. 

"Hey, is that the right way to welcome your boyfriend home at his birthday?" Junhong asked as he entered their flat. 

Yongguk let out a relieved sigh before wrapping his arms around the younger. "No, of course not. Welcome home baby." he gave him a peck on the cheek. "But why are you that late? And didn't answer you phone? I was worried~" 

"I'm sorry hyung. I had to work longer because the guy who should have been there with me felt sick and my phone didn't charge completely last night, so the battery was totally empty around noon... I hope you were not too worried." he said, looking him in the eyes. 

Yongguk smiled. "Oh, you have no idea. But you're here now and you're alright, so everything is fine. Now come on, I want you to have your present. I've waited long enough." 

Junhong laughed, while following him into the living room and was surprised how it looked. The only source of light in the room were candles, what made everything look very cozy and warm. On the table, there was also a vase with roses. He lifted an eyebrow. "Wow, that is... i didn't expect you to be that cheesy only because of my birthday." 

The older blushed. "If you don't like it, I can-" 

"No, just kidding hyung. It's awesome, I love it. You are so sweet." he laughed and pulled him into a hug. "But I really didn't expect it, I mean it's not even a special birthday, you know." 

Yongguk cleared his throat then pulled away. "Well, it's... not only because of your birthday." he said. 

"Then why is it?" slightly confused, Zelo took a seat on the sofa. 

"Because I... I have to ask you something." Nervously, he took something out of his pocket and showed it to him. "Choi Junhong... Shit, I just forgot what I wanted to say... Uhm... You... You are the love of my life... W- Will you marry me?" 

Zelo stared at the ring Yongguk was holding. It took him a few seconds, before he was able to say something. Then he nodded. "Oh my god... Yes, of course!"   
Immediately he jumped from the sofa and hugged Yongguk, who was stuggeling to not fall on the ground. "Of course I will marry you, you cheesy bastard" Junhong happily cried next to his ear what made Yongguk laugh.   
"Happy Birthday, baby."


	3. DaeJae - I'll Be There

"Why?" Youngjae's eyes were filled with tears, while he looked at Himchan. He could not understand why he was doing this to him.   
"I just don't love you anymore. Now get your stuff together and leave. I want to be alone."   
"But Himchan, I have nowhere to go! You can't just break up and send me away, please, I just need a few days."   
"No. I don't care where you go, just do it. I need room for myself. Now move."   
"But-"   
"I SAID NO! JUST FUCK OFF, YOUNGJAE!"

When the younger boy left the house, it had already become dark outside. He walked through the streets, silently crying, not knowing where to go. He had no friends in this city, they moved here only a few months ago.   
After an hour of walking around in the night he reached the park. Youngjae was tired so he sat down on a bench and closed his eyes.   
'What should I do now? Where should I spend the night? How do I get food and money?' he thought, when he suddenly heard a voice right in front of him.   
"What are you doing here? It's dangerous out here, in the middle of the night. You should go home."   
He opened his eyes. A boy in his age was standing right in front of him. He had blond hair, was wearing boots, a leather jacket and ripped trousers.   
In his hands he held a coffee to go.   
"I- I don't have a home anymore." Youngjae said, when he realized that he hadn't answered the stranger yet.   
"Ah, you do? But I've never seen you here before."   
"Well it... It happened just an hour ago."   
The boy nodded, looking as if he was thinking about something. After a while he started speaking again. "What's your name?"   
"It's Yoo Youngjae."   
"Okay, Youngjae, come with me."   
"What? I know you for two minutes and you tell me to come with you? I don't even know your name."   
"I am Jung Daehyun. And if you don't want to follow me, you will have to spend the night out here. In the dark, cold park. Did I mention the snow that will fall tonight? I just want to help you."   
Youngjae sighed. "Alright, I'm coming."

\---

"Welcome to my place." Daehyun said, when they arrived at his small apartment. The smell of weed was in the air, but it wasn't bad.   
They went into his room. There was nothing but a desk without a chair but with lots of stuff on it, a shelf, a TV and a bed. In a corner Youngjae saw a few empty bottles, all in all the room was a bit messy, but not dirty. The walls were full of stickers and posters. Right above the bed there was a flag with a big anarchy symbol on it.

"Just sit down and rest a bit, I'm gonna cook something for us. Wanna watch TV?"   
"Uhm... Okay. Shouldn't I help you with cooking?"   
"No, I prefer to do this alone. But you can help me with sewing. I really need some new patches on my jacket. I mean if that's okay for you."   
"Of course it is. I'm so thankful that you let me sleep here. I would do anything."   
He smirked. "Anything? Really?"   
"Dude no not what you think, pabo!"   
Youngjae laughed, for the first time today.

\---

"Do you want to talk about it?"   
"What do you mean?"   
"The reason why you were sitting out there."   
Youngjae stopped eating. "I don't know... Maybe later. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just... I can't believe it by myself. I think I need a bit time to think about it."   
"Okay. But if there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here."   
"Thank you."

After they finished eating, Daehyun took his leather jacket and some patches. "You know how to do this?"   
"Not really..."   
Daehyun smiled. "Alright I'm gonna show you."

While they were working, Youngjae admired the other boy's skills. It seemed like Daehyun was good at everything. His cooking was perfect, he had a nice sense of humor and was already sewing the third patch, while Youngjae still had problems with his first. He had never met someone like him before. He always seemed so positive and happy.

"Need help?" The older boy's voice woke him up from his thoughts.   
"Uhm no, I'm just a bit tired."   
"We can sleep now if you want. It's already really late."   
"By the way... You said I can sleep next to you in your bed, are you really okay with that?"   
"Sure, but actually... I should ask you this question. Maybe you should know that I am gay, if that influences your decision anyhow. I can sleep on the ground if it's a problem for you."

"No, absolutely not. I'm completely fine with it, don't worry." he smiled at the older. "I'm gay myself so there's no problem."

\---

"Youngjae?"   
They laid under the blanket, next to each other, almost sleeping.   
"Mhm?"   
"Thank you."   
"For what?"   
"You are the first person I met who just accepts me how I am. I was scared you would go too, when I told you I'm gay. So thank you. And... You can stay as long as you want."   
"Hmm."   
Daehyun chuckled. "Okay, I'll let you sleep now. Good night."

A few minutes later, Youngjae's breathing became regularly, but Daehyun still was awake, thinking. Something about this boy was different. He trusted him, not even knowing him a day. He felt good in his presence. He turned his head and looked at the boy. Youngjae was really beautiful, even while sleeping and looked so innocent... When he found him in the park, he had been crying, so someone must had hurt him. Daehyun couldn't believe how anyone could do this to him. He was friendly. He was beautiful. He was perfect.   
'Daehyun, stop this. You can't fall in love with him. No one could ever love back someone like you.' he thought by himself.

\---

About four weeks later, they went out for buying food. Youngjae had decided to stay with Daehyun for a while, but he still hadn't told him about Himchan and the break up. The boys had became friends, almost every day they went out, singing together while Daehyun played guitar. This was his way to get money and Youngjae didn't expect it would bring that much, but it was enough to live and many people seemed to know him already and gave him more than others.

"We should make some Kimchi today. Can you go get the fish sauce?"   
Youngjae nodded and turned around, but then he froze.   
"What's wrong?" Daehyun asked, looking in the same direction as Youngjae, where he saw a huge guy with black hair.   
"He's my ex... " Youngjae answered, "He broke up and sent me away the day you found me. I still don't understand why."   
"So he's the dumbass who made you cry?" The older one seemed angry and when Youngjae nodded, he went to Himchan.   
"You. Have you any idea what you did to him? You left him homeless, hurt, without any money or food! Why the hell did you do that, huh? He loved you! He trusted you! And you fucking idiot just threw him away like shit!"   
"Listen, I have no idea who you are. But you seem to be younger than me, so don't talk to me like that. Tell Youngjae to stay out of my life. I don't need him anymore. Now get out of my way, damn punk."   
Daehyun wanted to say something, when there suddenly was another voice behind him.   
"Channie, who is that? Is he a friend of you?"   
Daehyun turned around, there was a women, looking at Himchan, who took her hand. "Come on babe, we should go. I don't like it here."

\---

"Hey, stop crying. Don't waste your tears on him. He's not worth it. You deserve better."   
Daehyun sat on the bed, holding Youngjae in his arms. His shoulder was already wet, but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered now was the younger boy. Seeing him cry was hard for Daehyun. He didn't know how to help him.   
"I- it's just... I don't know... I thought he loved me. I mean... Yes, we argued a lot during the last weeks but I thought it would become better. He always told me he would never leave me for anyone else. And now..."   
His voice failed and he started sobbing again.   
"D- Daehyun, I think I'm just not wanted... Nobody ever loved me. Maybe I should just give up on hoping to find someone."   
"Don't even think about it! You won't give up just because of that asshole! Youngjae, you are a wonderful person. You are loved. You are wanted. And I- there are people who need you. Who care about you. So forget about this. You will find the right one, I promise."   
"I'm sorry, it's just... I don't even know why I ever loved him... I should have known it... "   
"Listen, as long as you get over it everything is going to be fine. Just forget about that idiot. Even if it's hard, I'm sure you can do this. And I'm always there for you. I promise."

Youngjae woke up in the evening. When he opened his eyes, he saw Daehyun sitting on the ground, lighting a joint.   
The older boy laid down on the back, closed his eyes and inhaled the smoke.   
Youngjae got up from the bed and sat down next to him. "Can I try this?"   
"Don't know if that's a good idea. You could get addicted. But if you want I won't stop you." he held out the joint. The first time Youngjae smoked, he had to cough, but after a few times it got better.   
"How's it?" Daehyun smirked.   
"It tastes okay... How long does it take until the effect comes?"   
"Shouldn't be too long."

Only a few minutes later, Youngjae felt like he was dreaming. He felt so light and carefree, that he accidently slipped out a "Wow", what made Daehyun laugh.   
"Come on, lay down with me." he waited until Youngjae did, before continuing speaking. "You know, I was lonely too, until I met you. I came here five years ago, with no plan, no money, no friends. I ran away from home. And everyone who became my friend turned away from me when he found out about my sexuality. I was homeless for about two years. Sleeping in parks or just on the street. Nothing was getting better and I almost froze to death the first winter. But then, I found a guitar on a junk yard. It was broken, but I fixed it and started to play to get money. I met someone who gave me this apartment. All I had to do was singing at his wedding. And now I met you. The first person I can really call a friend. And this made everything perfect. I don't need much money or a big house. I just need music and a friend. And now I've got both. Thank you for making my life so much better."

The next minutes they just laid there, silently smoking. Then Youngjae started talking.

"Daehyunnie?"   
"Yeah?"   
"I like you."   
"Ah, really?"   
"Ye. I like you a lot."   
Daehyun smiled. "I like you too, Youngjae."   
Like this had been his keyword, Youngjae suddenly sat down on him, hands right and left from Daehyun's head.   
"Youngjae? What are you-" before he could finish his sentence, he felt the other boy's lips on his own.   
It felt like a firework was exploding inside him. He had never thought that this moment would come, but here he was, kissing the boy he loved secretly for such a long time.   
It was perfect. His lips were warm and soft and the way they moved made him crazy. He wanted this moment to last forever.   
After a while they deepened the kiss and Daehyun opened his mouth a bit. He wanted to taste more than just his lips.   
Youngjae's hands went underneath Daehyun's tank top and started feeling his abs, before he took it off. They had to break the kiss during this and Daehyun used this possibility to get rid of Youngjae's shirt.   
"You're beautiful..." he whispered, carefully touching his upper body, while Youngjae tangled his fingers into the other one's hair and tugged on it a little.   
Then he leaned down again, leaving a trail of kisses along Daehyun's jawline, then down his neck, along his chest until he reached one of his nipples. He began gently sucking on it and Daehyun let out a moan.   
But when he felt Youngjae's fingers finding their way to the button of his jeans, he grabbed his hands and sat up.   
"Stop... We... We can't do that..." he said, heavily breathing.   
Youngjae looked him in the eyes. "Why not?"   
"Because you're high. You're not really yourself and I don't want you to regret anything tomorrow."   
"Mmh... okay then... But I want to cuddle."

\---

When Youngjae woke up the next morning, it all felt like dream. But he knew it was real when he recognized that they both were still shirtless. He looked at Daehyun. The morning sun was shining at his face, giving his skin a golden shimmer. The boy slowly touched Daehyun's cheek.   
'What is he thinking about me now? I just kissed him and did other things... I hope he doesn't think anything wrong now...'   
Exactly in this moment, Daehyun opened his eyes. "Good morning" he said with a deep voice and smiled. Then he wrapped an arm around Youngjae and pulled him closer.   
"Don't move. It's so cozy right now..."   
"Daehyunnie... I've gotta tell you something."   
"What is it?"   
"Well... I think I'm in love with you..."   
"Really? I mean... Are you sure?"   
"I think so. The things I feel when I'm with you are stronger than everything I ever felt before. I just got the feeling that, with you, I finally found the right one."   
"Youngjae..."   
"If you don't feel like this it's okay, I just wanted you to know."   
Daehyun chuckled. "I didn't finish yet! Listen. What you just said... That's just... Wow. I'm really not sure of I'm awake, could you just punch me or something?"   
"But you told me not to move. This isn't a dream, I promise."   
"Okay, so you know what?"   
"What?"   
"I'm in love with you too."   
"You are?"   
"Totally..." he came closer, smiled and kissed him softly.


	4. HimUp - Change

When Kim Himchan woke up in the morning, he didn't know that today, his whole life would be changed.

Like every morning he went into the kitchen to make some coffee, then he took a shower, had breakfast and half an hour later he left the house to go to work.

After work, the boy decided to go to the bakery.   
And that was the moment it all started.

-POV Himchan-

I wanted to open the door but in that moment it was pushed open from the inside and a man ran out of the building and down the street. Two seconds later, another guy followed him, shouting. "GIVE BACK MY WALLET DAMN CRIMINAL!!"   
It took me a second to understand the situation, but then I ran after them. I had the feeling that the boy would need my help and when we arrived at the park, I saw that I was right.   
The boy grabbed the man's arm and tried to stop him, but he just turned around shortly, punched the boy in the face with something I couldn't see clearly and continued running.   
The boy fell to the ground and didn't move anymore.   
"Shit!" I kneeled down next to him. "Hey, can you hear me?" I asked, carefully turning his head to check out how hurt he was. There was a big wound at his forehead and I took my shirt off to stop the bleeding with it before pulling out my phone to call an ambulance.   
I just finished the call when he opened his eyes, looking at me slightly confused. "What happened?" he asked, then lifting his hand to touch his head.   
I stopped him by grabbing his arm. "I wouldn't do this if I were you."   
He nodded slowly and started closing his eyes again.   
"Hey, look at me! The doctor will be here soon. What's your name?"   
"Moon Jongup..." his voice was nothing more than a whisper.   
"Okay, Jongup-ssi, I am Kim Himchan. Did he hurt you anywhere else?"   
"No... It's just... My head..."   
"Okay. You will be fine, I promise. Is there someone who should be informed that you're going to the hospital?"   
"My boss... And my flatmate Junhong... The numbers are in my phone." he squeezed his eyes in pain and grabbed my hand. "I feel sick... I don't wanna die..."   
"You won't. Can you hear that? The ambulance is almost here."   
"Thank you... Kim Himchan..."

\---

"Come in!"   
I opened the door and went into the room. Jongup laid in a bed, another boy sat next to it on a chair, both looking at me. A smile went on Jongup's face when he recognized me.   
"Hi... Himchan, right?"   
I nodded. "Yeah. So you remember everything? The doctors said maybe you wouldn't."   
"No, I'm okay. By the way this is Choi Junhong, my flatmate and best friend since ever."   
The other boy gave me a shy smile before looking to the ground. He seemed to be very shy but I thought it was kind of cute.   
"Have to go now" he murmured and quickly went out of the room after saying goodbye to Jongup.   
"Why are you here?" he asked after few moments of silence.   
"Well you have to answer a few questions."   
He looked confused. "Questions?"   
"About the raid. I'm a policeman, you know."   
"Oh..." He said in surprise, "I didn't expect that to be honest."   
I chuckled. "Why not?"   
"Well, you are... you are different from the policemen I know... I don't really know how to say that."   
"I think I understand what you mean."   
"So what are your questions?"

\---

"Thanks, I think your informations are really helpful for catching him. I just need your ID and your number if there are any more questions."   
He handed me the card. When I saw the address I smiled.   
He looked at me with questioning eyes. "What's funny?"   
"Your address. I will move right there next week."   
"Really?"   
"Yeah. It's a better location, I will have a shorter way to work and to the city."   
"Yes, it's really good. Hey, Junhong and I we could help you if you want!"   
"That would be great thank you. I'll call you when I'm there okay?"   
"Sure. The doctor said I can go home in three days so it there shouldn't be a problem."   
"Alright, see you then."   
Jongup smiled at me again. "Bye, and good luck for your job."   
"Thanks." I said, handing him his ID.   
When I left the room I still had his beautiful smile in my head. I could watch it the whole day...

\---

My Sofa was the last thing we brought up to my apartment, which was right next to the apartment of the boys.   
Jongup immediately fell onto the couch. "Shit I'm so tired... I think I'll just stay here forever."   
I laughed and sat down next to him. Junhong did the same and we just relaxed a while until Jongup spoke.   
"Can I ask you something?"   
"Sure what is it?"   
"Well... Do you have a gun?"   
"Yes, actually I do but I never had to use it yet what's really good. I hate hurting people."   
He nodded. "But... You would if you had to, right? If it's the only possibility to save someone's life?"   
"Yes, why do you ask?"   
He looked to the ground. "I... I was just curious. I need to clean the kitchen now, see you tomorrow."   
He went out of the room, then we heard the door open and close.   
"It's because of his mom." Junhong said after a while, what surprised me because it was the first time he ever talked to me.   
"What?"   
"I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you this but maybe you can help so I will. But don't tell him okay?"   
"Okay."   
He sighed. "His mom was a hostage in a bank robbery four years ago. The criminal kidnapped her and escaped, one policeman found him. He had a gun but didn't use it so the criminal shot her and escaped again. No one found him yet and a few months ago they stopped the investigation in the case. Jongup doesn't trust the police anymore. I think that's the reason he didn't think that you're one of them, because you saved him and took care. But he trusts you."   
I didn't really know what to say. "I... I think I heard about that case, but I didn't know that he killed somebody... Just that they didn't find him yet..."   
"Well... Since you work there, do you think you can help him anyhow?"   
"I can try to talk to my boss, so that they start the investigation again. But I can't promise I will succeed."   
"It's worth a shot thank you so much! But please don't tell Jongup about it, I don't want him to have any pointless hopes again."   
"Okay, I won't. Could you come over when I'm back from work tomorrow? I'll tell you what my boss said."

\---

In the next three weeks, I often met with Jongup and Junhong, we spent almost all of our freetime together. Especially the youngest came over almost every day, to help me with the investigations. Together we thought about how the facts and details could help us finding the criminal. He was really smart, which was very usefull. 

One day, I sent Jongup a message, telling him to come over.   
When he came in, he looked very courious what made me laugh.   
"Sit down."I told him and grabbed my bag before sitting down next to him. "I've got something for you." I took it out of the bag and hid it behind me. "What do you think it is?"   
"I have no idea. Give me a hint."  
"It has something to do with both of us and belongs to you." 

"Ha! Is it my wallet?"   
I grinned. "Right. We caught the guy today."   
"Great! Now give it to me. I guessed right."   
"Come and get it!" I hold it up in front of him, laughing. He tried to grab it but I was faster. We played around like that for a while until he suddenly pushed me on my back and jumped on me so I could not move anymore.   
He tried to stop laughing before speaking but failed. "Give it... give it to me!... Now!"   
"Or what?"   
"Or I'll never let you go."   
"Doesn't sound that bad."   
He sighed and seemed to think about something. "Okay, what do I have to do that you give it to me?"   
"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe I should sleep a bit and think again when I wake up." I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep when I suddenly felt him laying down on my chest. Immediately my heart started racing. I opened my eyes a bit to look at him.   
He looked me, slightly smiling. "What's that with your heart?"   
I felt myself blush a little. "It's nothing... I just didn't expect you to attack me like this."   
"Should I stand up?"   
"No, it's okay."   
"Good. I wouldn't get upanyways, it's way too cozy. Now give me my wallet."   
I sighed. "Fine, I give up. Take it." I gave it to him and closed my eyes again. 

It was great to have Jongup as a friend. And Junhong too, but Jongup was... different. Different from all the friends I ever had. I always used to dislike body contact with people, even with my family, but with him it was okay. It always made me feel better. I really didn't recognize myself anymore since I knew him... 

"By the way, why does Junhongie come here everyday? He won't tell me. He just says it's a secret."   
Shit! What should I answer now? "Well... I... I promised him not to tell you... I'm sorry..."   
He sat up, looking at me, disappointed. "You know what? I think I know what's going on. You guys are dating. Or even together. And you won't tell me because you know about my feelings. You-"   
"Wait" I stopped him. "What feelings do you mean?"   
He got up. "Don't act like this. You know about it. I gave you so many hints, everytime we met. You should have told me about you and Junhong. But hiding it from me is just shit. I thought we were friends. I thought we can tell each other everything. But obviously I was wrong. You're just the same as all the others in your fuckin' job."   
"Jonguppie..."   
"No. I'll leave now. Do me at least one favour and never call or text me again."   
I was too shocked to say or do something, when he went out, slamming the door. 

\--- 

The next weeks went by slowly. Jongup didn't talk to me anymore and when we met in the hallway, he pretended not to see me. Even Junhong was ignoring me, since he thought I told Jongup that we were dating. I totally messed up everything. But what should I have told him? The truth would had hurt him, too. Maybe even more.   
The investigations were not really successfull. We were still searching for the guy. But until now, not one hint was helpful.   
At the moment I was in my office, checking all the details again, when suddenly, my partner entered the room.   
"They found a dead body in the forest. Come on, we need to go there." 

When we arrived at the place, a colleque came to me. "We know who he is. His name is Lee Minhyun. He is dead since three to four years. Age 43, not married, no children, no family. His clothes are matching to the bank robbery four years ago, we also found a gun and a bag with lots of money so I think this case is solved." 

I didn't exactly know how I got into the car, but suddenly I found myself parking in front of our house. I ran up the stairs until I reached our floor. I knocked at the door for about a minute before it was opened. Junhong looked at me, annoyed and kind of angry.   
"What do you want?"   
"I need to see Jongup."   
"Why? Do you have any idea what you did to him? Do you know how he is?"   
"We found him. Please, I need to tell him. I need to explain everything."   
He sighed. "Fine." He let me in and brought me to Jongup's room. "I'll stay right here. Better don't do anything wrong."   
I carefully knocked at the door and went inside. He laid on the bed sothat I was facing his back. I sat down next to him on the bed. "Uppie?"   
He first didn't react so I thought he was sleeping but after a while he answered. "What do you want?"   
"We need to talk. Please, let me explain everything. If you still want me to go then, I will."   
"You've got two minutes. Start now."   
"At first, I want to say how sorry I am. I would have told you everything but we thought it was better if we don't because it could have hurt you. I think you already know that there's nothing between me and Junhong. There never was and there never will be because I love... because I love you, Jongup. I'm sorry. It killed me to have no contact to you. The truth why Junhong was at my place is... I knoe about what happened to your mom. And he asked me to help you. We restarted the investigations and Junhong was helping me."   
I made a short break to look at him.   
"Thirty seconds." he jst said, trying not to show that he almost cried.   
I looked at the ground. "We found him, Jongup. He is dead. We found him today, that's why I came here, because I finally could tell you the truth. I'm so sorry for everything. I hope you can forgive me anyhow." I finished and waited if he would say something, but nothing happened.   
"Okay." I got up and went to the door. Before opening it I looked at him again. Then I went out of the room, passing Junhong who gave me a confused look befor following me and grabbing my arm.   
"Hey, what are you doing? You can't leave now!"   
"I'll come back. Don't close the door, I'm just getting something."   
He nodded, still looking confused. 

Two minutes later I entered Jongup's room again, finding him still laying on the bed, his face burried into the pillow.   
"I've got something for you." I said, putting the box next to him. "You once told me that you'd like to have it so I bought it for you... I just wanted to give it to you before we have no more contact. I'll just put it here and go." I wanted to stand up, when he suddenly spoke.   
"Stay" he said into the pillow. I waited a few minutes but this was all he did.   
"Jonguppie?" I asked carefully, but he didn't answer. His Breathing was regularly, he must have fallen asleep. I smiled and then I laid down next to him. Just a few seconds later I fell asleep, too. 

When I opened my eyes I looked righed in his beautiful face. He smiled shyly when he realized me being awake. "Thank you" he whispered. His eyes still were a bit red, but he seemed happy.   
I was too tired to answer so I just smiled.   
"Do you always sleep with your uniform on?" he then asked what made me chuckle lightly.   
"You look very good in it."   
"Thanks" I said before rolling on my back, yawning.   
"Himchan?"   
"Mhm?"   
"You... you said that you love me... is that true?" 

\--- 

\- 9 Months later - 

I was woken up by an huge weight on my back. At first I didn't know what it was, until...   
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANNIE!!"   
Even if I felt like my ear was exploding, I had to smile.   
"Good morning" I murmured before opening my eyes. Immediately Jongup got off of my back, laying down next to me, smiling his beautiful smile.   
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to kiss him softly.   
When the kiss ended h got up and walked to the door.   
"Hey, come back!" I said, "I'm getting cold without you!"   
He just chuckled. "Come with me. It's more warm in the living room."   
When I still didn't move, he came back, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bed, straight into the living room, where he let go my hand and walked away.   
I kept on laying on the carpet, closing my eyes again. I just wanted to sleep...   
"Are you really that tired?" I heard him say after a while. I nodded.   
He laughed. "Okay. I just want to give you your present, then we will sleep."   
I felt him doing something with my arm and became courious, so I opened my eyes.   
On my wrist there was a beautiful bracelet, black leather with some silver elements. Jongup looked at my shyly, playing with my hand.   
"I hope you like it..." he murmured.   
I leaned up to him, giving him a hug. "I love it. It's beautiful, thank you so much baby."   
Happily he pressed his face against my neck, gently nipping on my skin. I laughed and slipped my hand underneath his shirt, taking it off to feel his warm body on mine when I laid back on the ground with him in my arms.   
"I love you, Channie" he whispered, before we both fell asleep.


	5. XiuLay - Dancing King [smut]

POV Lay

"Action!" The same voice as before shoutet and I started dancing. I tried to focus on the choreo, but someone in the background behind the camera caught my attention all the time. Xiumin sat there, on the ground with his back against the wall and watched every little move I made. He wanted to watch me shooting my new video so badly, that I just couldn't resist my hyung's cute, begging eyes.

I smiled at Xiumin for a second and- turned to the wrong direction. 

"Cut! Yixing, please focus."  
I saw how Xiumin mouthed a "Concentrate" to me, with a little wink at the end. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to get my crush out of my thoughts. At least for the next minutes. 

"Action!"  
Finally, I made the right moves. Everything was on point, but when it came to the part when I did some hip thrusts, I recognized how Xiumin left the room. I tried to not show how confused he was and just continued dancing. 

When the scene ended, the shooting was done. After showing my thanks to the staff and the dancers, I quickly made my way outside, but Xiumin wasn't there, just the manager sat on a chair, doing something on his phone. "Have you seen Minseok?" I asked while getting out of my jacket. "He said he would be waiting in the van." The man smiled at me. "Maybe he's tired, it's already late. We should go as soon as you're ready." 

I took a seat inside the van, finding Xiumin wrapped in a blanket, looking straight outside through the window. "Are you alright?" I asked, but the only answer I got was a nod and a short look in my direction. I felt that the boy was tense and decided to talk to him at the dorm. 

... 

I entered our shared room, Xiumin was standing in the middle of the room, looking at me shyly. I closed the door. "What-" I began, but was interrupted by my roommate.  
"You looked sexy today..." These words made my heart skip some beats before it doubled it's pace when Xiumin slowly walked in my direction, now standing right in front of me. "So sexy that I... just wanted to..." he trailed off, slowly lifting his hand, putting it on my chest, feeling my heartbeat and the warmth of my skin through the thin fabric of the shirt.  
"What did you want, Xiu?" I quietly asked, the closeness to the boy sent light shivers through my whole body. Carefully, Xiumin looked me in the eyes. "I wanted to... do things with you that... boys shouldn't do with each other..." he murmured and looked back down, blushing.  
"Minseok..." I put my fingers under his chin and made him look at me again. Then I carefully kissed him. Immediately he kissed me back, pressing his warm, soft lips against mine and grabbed my shirt with both hands. I knew he liked it, I knew he wanted more. And he was not alone with that feeling. Slowly I started pushing him backwards, until we reached his bed where he laid down on his back, pulling me to be above him without breaking the kiss. 

"Yixing, please... touch me..." he whispered. I smiled at him and took his shirt off before letting my hands feel his awesome body. "Damn you're so beautiful" I said into his ear, biting it what made him moan lightly. "I want you..."  
I chuckled, unbuttoned his jeans and rubbed him slowly through the cloth of his boxers. "I know."  
As an answer he just moaned again and tugged on my shirt, wanting it off, so I threw it on the ground and leaned down to kiss him again. Xiumin wrapped his arms around my body pulling me closer and moved his crotch against mine what made me even harder. While removing his jeans along with his boxers, I began leaving a trail of kisses down his neck and chest until I reached one of his nipples which I took in my mouth, earning soft sounds of pleasure from him. Slowly, my left hand started stroking his member and immediately his breathing hitched.  
"Yixing... please... take me..." 

"I will..." I bit his nipple and pulled at it lightly with my teeth.  
He hissed and bucked his hips up, but I pulled away and wriggled out of my jeans and boxers. Then I leaned down to take him in my mouth. Minseok let out a loud moan as I swirled my tongue around the tip, taking in more and more of his length. I tried to keep his hips pinned to the bed as he bucked his hips up again. He tangled his fingers in my hair, making me take in more of him, until he suddenly pulled my head up. He looked so hot, with his eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted, catching his breath. "I beg you... I need it now... I need you..." 

I just nodded. I couldn't wait any longer, too. So I opened his drawer next to the bed and let out a small laugh when I found the object I was searching for. When Xiumin saw the small bottle of lube he blushed. "How did you know-" "Instinct" I said before he could finish his sentence. I was too needy to talk much right now. I wanted him so badly I could barely control myself. 

After preparing him, I looked him in the eyes. "Are you sure?" "Damn, Lay, just do it already" he whispered and wrapped his legs around my waist. I planted another kiss on his lips before slowly starting to push myself inside him. 

"Aah shit! Move!" he almost yelled, his fingers clawing in my back, his eyes were shut tightly. I began pounding in and out slowly until the painful expression on his face was gone. Then I picked up the pace, suddenly earning a lustful scream from him. "There... Oh Fuck... Keep going!" 

I smirked down at him, going faster, hitting his spot with every thrust. He pulled me down into a kiss, lightly biting my lips. That and the sweet noises of him turned me on even more. "Xiu... You're so hot..." I manged to say between my own moans. Feeling that I was close, I grabbed his erection with my right hand, pumping it in the rhythm of my thrusts what made him arch his back. "Yixing... aah... I think Im gonna-" Before he was able to finish his sentence he came in my hand and on his chest. "Please..." he caught his breath, "come inside me..." His hands travelled up my body, letting his fingers play with my nipples what finally made me reach my orgasm. 

Totally exhausted, I laid down next to him pulling him to rest his head on my chest. "Thank you..." I whispered, draping the blanket over us. "Mhm" he mumbled against my skin before looking me in the eyes. "Xing, I... I love you..." 

I smiled at him. "I love you too, baby" The answer was a light punch in my stomach. "I'm still older than you, baby." He yawned and leaned up to kiss me softly, before closing his eyes. 

Two minutes later, we both were already deeply asleep.


	6. BangDae - Stalker

He was running as fast as possible, but the steps behind him kept getting closer.

He passed the last corner and finally reached his house, when the steps behind him suddenly disappeared.

Heavily panting, he opened the door with shaking hands and quickly went inside.

"Hey babe!" he heard from the living room and couldn't help but smile at the sound of the deep voice he loved so much.

After getting out of his shoes, he entered said room and found his boyfriend sitting on the sofa. The young, black-haired man was sitting on the couch, playing with their dogs. 

"Hi" Daehyun said, still out of breath, as his puppy Kanji came running towards him.

He took the little dog and went to sit next to Yongguk, receiving a short kiss from him.

"You look exhausted, are you okay?"

Daehyun nodded. He didn't want him to worry. "Yes, I just ran a bit. How was your day?"

"Mmh... Nothing special. Oh, but I found this in front of our door when I came home." he pointed at a letter on the table. "There's your name on it but nothing else."

"Oh?" He took the envelope and opened it, pulling out a few photos.

Seeing the images, he froze. "What the fuck...?"

"What's that?" Yongguk asked, trying to take a look at the photos, but Daehyun was faster, quickly hiding them.

"Nothing."

Yongguk sighed "Babe. Please show me. What is it?"

Hesitating, the younger gave him the photos. Yongguk stared at the pictures in disbelief.

"Oh my god... This can't be! Who did that? And why?" he couldn't take his eyes off the photos, each showing the two of them in situations they had no idea someone had been watching them, one of the pictures even showing them at home in their bed.

  
"I don't know  
"I don't know... But... On my way home... Someone was following me..."

"God... Why is this happening..." Yongguk turned the last picture around and gasped. "Dae, look at this."

He showed his boyfriend the back of the photo, where a few words were written.

'Yongguk is mine. Get your hands off of him or I will kill you.'

The boy felt the fear creep up his body. He felt cold suddenly, cold and insecure. He didn't feel safe anymore, even though he was at home with his boyfriend, the only place where he had ever really felt safe. And now, this unknown person had taken it from him. Daehyun felt like somebody was watching them right in that moment. Every noise scaring him more and more. 

"Daehyun, we have to show this to the police." 

Yongguk's voice made him snap out of his thoughts, but je didn't manage an answer, so he just nodded slightly. 

Yongguk could feel how scared the boy was, and it would be a lie to say that he wasn't just as scared as him. But he knew it was much worse for Daehyun. 

The younger had taken ages until he had been able to move out of his parent's home because it was hard for him to trust, to feel safe anywhere else. It had been three months until he could sleep through a whole night without waking up in between from being scared of someone intruding, until he had been sure that he and Yongguk would really stay together and nobody would take the older away from him. 

"Dae, calm down." he said, putting the photos aside to pull his boyfriend closer. "We will bring this to the police tomorrow. They can help us. You don't have to be scared." 

"Why does this happen?" Daehyun whispered, trying to somehow relax. He focused on Yongguk's warmth, his loving touch, his calm breath. But he couldn't keep the tears from coming. 

"I don't know why. But we will get through this. I will stay with you and protect you, no matter what." Yongguk softly kissed his cheek. "I love you." 

"I love you too." The younger looked him in the eyes and felt a bit more calm. "You know... whoever this is, the person at least has a great taste in men." he said jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood a bit. He didn't want Yongguk to worry too much about him. 

"Well, this is indeed true." the older smiled. "Come on, we should eat something."

...

"Should I take you to work tomorrow?" Yongguk asked quietly as they lied in their bed two hours later.

"If you want to?" tiredly, Daehyun looked up at him while caressing the older's bare chest with his fingers.

"Yes, I want to. And I will pick you up in the afternoon so we can go to the police together."

"Okay. Thank you, Bbang..." he leaned up and kissed his boyfriend, he had meant to keep the kiss short, but Yongguk grabbed his hips and held him up, deepening the kiss.

The younger chuckled lightly and parted his lips to let Yongguk's tongue in. Seconds later he felt himself being laid down on his back and the man's fingers slipped underneath his shirt, pulling it up with running his hands over Daehyun's body. 

"My beautiful boy..." he whispered as they broke the kiss and threw the younger's shirt on the floor. "You have no idea what you're doing to me..." 

Daehyun gasped as his boyfriend started kissing his chest, but then, a thought came to his mind. "W- Wait-" 

"Hm?" Yongguk stopped his actions and looked him in the eyes. 

"W- What if someone is watching us right now?" 

"Then they can enjoy the show." he grinned, but got up. "Wait a minute." Yongguk closed the window and the curtains, locked the bedroom door and switched off the light. 

"Now it should be okay." He said as he tried to make his way back to the bed through the dark. 

Daehyun heard him bump into something and laughed. "I'm over here. Follow my voice~" 

"Already there." Yongguk smiled as he finally reached the bed and crawled over to Daehyun. "Now where were we?" 

\--- 

The next few days went by without any special events. They had reported the unknown person to the police and given them the photos. They had promised to do everything they could, but there were no results yet. 

It was a saturday morning. Daehyun woke up and found himself alone in their bed. He got up and stretched his arms, before going to the kitchen where he found a piece of paper on the table. 

'Good morning babe, I'll be right back' 

"Wow, so much information..." Daehyun mumbled and went to open the fridge in order to have breakfast, when suddenly something hit his back, almost making him lose balance. When the first shock was gone, he felt a liquid drenching his back, slowly running down his skin. 

He turned around and saw the kitchen window being open. Whatever had hit him must have came through that. Heart racing, he carefully took a look outside, but nobody could be seen. Quickly he shut the window, then he heard the front door being unlocked. 

Yongguk entered the kitchen, not expecting anything special. Then he saw Daehyun standing at the window. The boy was breathing heavily, obviously shaking. His back full of a dark red liquid. 

"Oh my god, Dae!" He ran over to the younger, carefully grabbing his shoulders, turning him around. The look in his eyes was nothing but fear. "Are you hurt?" 

"N- No..." Daehyun stuttered. He held tightly onto Yongguk's arms, he felt like fainting. 

"What happened?" Yongguk led him to a chair, making him sit down. Then he noticed the same liquid on the floor, with something that looked like a ripped waterballoon and a piece of paper in the middle of it. 

"I- Someone threw this at me... through the window.." 

"God... I thought it was blood..." The older sighed. "I'm sorry for leaving the window open, I thought this creepy shit was over." He went and picked up the piece of paper. It was drenched but the printed words still could be read clearly. 

'Next time you will really bleed, Jung Daehyun' 

"What does it say?" Daehyun asked as he saw Yongguk staring at the paper. 

"I think it's better if you don't read it... We should call the police about that..." 

The boy nodded. "Where have you been anyways?" 

"Oh, our new neighbor needed help with bringing his furniture upstairs. I talked to him a bit, he seems really nice." Yongguk took his phone and called the number which the police officer had given him in case anything else happened. 

... 

Last time, after the thing with the photos happened, Daehyun had been able to relax after a while of being comforted by Yongguk, but not this time. The words from the paper - the police had shown it to him when they asked him questions - would not leave his mind. 

He lied in their bed, next to Yongguk, who had been sleeping for hours already. But Daehyun could not even stand closing his eyes for more than a few seconds. He kept hearing noises, not even knowing if they were real or just his mind playing tricks on him in his fear. It didn't really matter to him though, he just wanted them to stop. 

Just like the night after the first events, Yongguk had locked the bedroom door and made sure nobody could even get inside the apartment in the first place, but Daehyun was convinced that this would not keep this stalker or whatever you want to call it out. They had even managed to take pictures of them in their bedroom after all and the perspective they were taken from was clearly a spot right in front of their bed. 

What if there were hidden cameras? 

Immediately, the young man sat up straight in the bed, making Yongguk grumble in his sleep since his arm he had wrapped around the younger had now fallen onto the mattress. 

Daehyun didn't even realize it. All he could think of was the red, barely visible light he had just noticed on the shelf in front of their bed. 

He could almost feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, leaving a burning feeling all over his body. With shaking hands, he reached over to his nightstand and switched on the small lamp standing there. 

His eyes went back to the spot where he had noticed the light. When he realized where it came from, he groaned and let himself fall back onto the bed. 

"Daehyun, you're fucking paranoid..." he quietly mumbled to himself before getting up. 

He took his phone from the shelf and turned it around so the small red light signalling the battery needing to be charged could not be seen anymore. 

His heart rate was finally coming back to normal pace, but his throat was still dry from the shock. He did not really wanted to leave the safe bedroom, but he needed to drink something so he eventually unlocked the door and went to the kitchen. 

A look at the clock hanging on the opposite wall showed him it was almost three. Great. Another night without sleep and he had to work tomorrow which meant getting up in four hours. 

He took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, which he slowly drank while staring at the pictures on the door of the fridge. The two of them on the beach, laughing while holding ice cream. It had been their first holiday together and he had never felt this relaxed and happy. It wasn't even that long ago but compared to how he felt these days with all the fear and worry, it seemed like ages. 

He had emptied his glass of water and put it at the kitchen sink. He would wash it tomorrow, now he needed to get some sleep. 

Daehyun turned around, about to go back to the bedroom, when suddenly, he felt his knees getting weak. His sight got blurry and seconds later, everything went black. 

... 

"Daehyun? Can you hear me? Please say something!" 

Slowly, Yongguk's voice got louder and clearer. 

He opened his eyes and saw his boyfriend's face. What was going on? Why was Yongguk crying? 

"Yongguk..." he tried to say, but his voice was just a weak, cracky whisper. 

"Thank god... What happened? Are you okay?" the older asked, taking his hand. 

Daehyun tried to remember, but his mind was still not completely clear so it took him a few seconds. "I- I don't know... I went to drink something and then I just fainted..." 

"Should I call an ambulance?" the older asked and reached to grab his phone from the kitchen table, but Daehyun quickly shook is head. "No, I'll be fine. It was probably just all the stress... I haven't slept at all tonight..." 

"That could be it, but are you sure you'll be alright? I'd prefer to have you checked..." 

"I know, but then they'll take me to hospital and I don't feel safe there." 

Yongguk sighed. "Fine. But you'll stay home tomorrow and rest and if you feel worse then you will call me." 

"Okay, deal." 

Yongguk smiled, then picked the younger up and carried him back to the bedroom. 

"Tomorrow is gonna be so boring without you" Daehyun yawned ad closed his eyes while Yongguk covered them with the blanket. 

"I'll cook you dinner as an apology, trust me I'd love to stay home to take care of you but I really need to work tomorrow, almost all of the others are ill... or at least pretending to be." 

"I know. It's alright, I'll survive." 

The older pecked his lips. "Good night now, Daehyunnie. I love you." 

"Love you too~ Good night." 

... 

Daehyun was tired. He had been awake for a few hours already, but still he just felt like sleeping. 

He had a toast for breakfast, then lied back down. He felt more and more weird. Not just tired anymore, no, meanwhile his head was aching and he felt dizzy. He remembered what Yongguk had said about calling him when it got worse and decided this was the point where he should make this call. 

He still didn't want to be taken to hospital but he just wanted Yongguk to be there with him. Feeling like this while being all alone scared him. He did not know what to do, while Yongguk always seemed to know a solution for everything. 

He got up and tried making his way to the bedroom where his phone was still lying on the shelf, but after half the way he couldn't keep himself up on his feet anymore and had to sit down on the floor. 

After closing his eyes for a few seconds, trying to breathe normally, he got back up, even more shaky than before, and finally reached the shelf, where he had to sit down again. He just couldn't get up anymore. He needed help now, immediately. 

It wasn't easy grabbing his phone, but after stretching his arm more than he thought it was possible, he finally reached it. 

He pressed the home button, ready to type in his code and call his boyfriend, but nothing happened. The screen stayed black. The battery was dead. 

In this second, he heard the front door being shut, then there were steps in the hallway. 

The steps sounded different from what he was used to from Yongguk, which confused him, but he got really alarmed, when the dogs started barking. They were in the living room behind the closed door, so they could not get out. 

Daehyun got more and more scared. His headache and dizzyness got worse and worse. The steps were coming closer ad closer. 

And there was nothing he could do. 

... 

"What's wrong? You look worried." 

Yongguk sighed, putting his phone back into his pocket, now looking at Himchan, his colleague and friend. "It's just... I can't reach Daehyun. His phone is off and he's not answering the landline. He fainted last night so now I am pretty worried." 

"Oh, I understand... Well, you could go check on him, you don't live far from here, do you?" 

"That's true but I don't think the boss would like that..." 

"He's not here though, plus it's almost lunchbreak. If he comes and asks for you I'll make something up. Now go check on your boy." 

"Thank you so much" Yongguk smiled and left. He hurried to his car and drove home as fast as possible. 

The closer he got to their house, the more nervous he became. 

"Hi" said a voice, making him jump. 

"Oh god, you scared me..." he said when he saw it was just Jongup, their new neighbour from upstairs. 

"You looks really nervous though. Can I do anything for you?" 

Yongguk quickly explained the situation, then decided he should not lose any more time. 

The door to their apartment was closed, he took that as a good sign, but when he eventually entered the kitchen, he saw how wrong he was. 

The scenery he saw was impossible to believe. 

Daehyun, tied on a chair, head hanging low, obviously unconcious. 

On the opposite chair, a young woman. He could only see her back, but when she turned around, he was as confused as never before. 

"What is going on? What are you doing here?" he asked Park Min-Gi, one of his colleagues. He wanted to move over to check on Daehyun, but stopped, when he saw the knife in her hand. 

"Yongguk, do you still not understand? You don't belong to him. I tried to make him let you go but it didn't work. But now I got him, now we just have to finish this and you're free! Then we can be together!" 

"What?" The man was absolutely speechless. What was this supposed to mean? Was this a joke? It had to be! This couldn't be real! 

She stood up from the chair and went over to Daehyun, standing behind the young man, playing with the knife in her hand. 

"We can be together, Yongguk, everything we always wanted can become reality! We just have to finish this! Won't you help me?" 

"Min-Gi.... Am I getting this right... You want to kill my boyfriend...?" 

"I just want to help you break free from him! You know you and I belong together and we can never find our true happiness as long as he's there." 

Yongguk shook his head. "What... this is crazy. I don't love you, we are just colleagues, nothing more. You must have gotten something wrong. Let him go and we can talk about everything." 

"Yongguk, why are you saying this? I know you love me! This hurts me!" 

"No. I love Daehyun. I am gay, Min-Gi. Now let him go or I will call the police." 

From one second to another, her facial expression changed completely. 

"If you even try calling them, I will cut his throat. You are mine and mine only." she whispered sharply, the knife's blade now on the boy's throat. 

Shocked, the older raised his hands. "Okay, calm down. Don't do something you'll regret later. We can talk about everything, just please let him go." 

Yongguk noticed, how Daehyun slowly opened his eyes. He felt relieved that his boyfriend woke up, but also was scared because of the knife still dangerously close to the younger's neck. 

He had to do something, he had to protect his boyfriend, the one person in his life who always managed to make him happy as nobody else would ever be able to. He would give is life for this boy. He had to save him. 

"Listen, I will do everything you want, just don't hurt him. We can sort this out." he said in a calming voice to her, while looking Daehyun in the now widened eyes. It seemed like the boy had just understood the situation. 

"All I want you to do is love me" she said, "But for that we need to get him out of the way. He's a threat to our love." 

Yongguk slowly shook his head. "No. He does not have to die, I will love you even more if he lives. I can just leave him." It was hard to bring these words out, especially when he saw Daehyun biting his lower lip, now avoiding his look. It hurt to see his boyfriend like this, he did not want to say such things, but he saw no other way. And Daehyun was smart, so he would hopefully understand. 

"Really?" the young woman looked at him in light surprise, lowering the knife a bit. 

Yongguk wanted to answer, when suddenly, Daehyun's chair fell backwards, making her fall as well. The knife landed underneath the table. 

Quickly, Yongguk took the weapon and put it on the kitchen counter, where she couldn't reach it. She wanted to get up, but he was faster, holding her down. "You stay here until the police has arrived." 

"Where are they supposed to come from? You haven't called them though." 

"No, I haven't. But I am not alone." 

Right then, Jongup appeared in the doorframe. "Exactly. Yongguk, leave her to me and care about him." 

The older smiled thankfully and waited until Jongup had made sure she couldn't escape, before moving on to Daehyun, untieing him. 

"Dae! Are you okay? Did she hurt you? I'm so sorry I wasn't here earlier..." 

"It's okay. I'm okay, don't worry." he got up and sat down on one of the other chairs. "Just a headache and my arm hurts but that's probably from the fall. I didn't see another way to get out of this situation than tackling her down..." 

"That was smart, but you could have been hurt... I'm glad you're okay..." he hugged the younger, right when the police entered the apartment. 

... 

"Babe?" 

"Mhmm?" Daehyun tiredly opened his eyes to look at the older next to him. They had just gone to bed, It was just around ten but the day had been so exhausting for them, they just wanted to rest. 

Yongguk ran his fingers through the younger's hair. "You know that I didn't mean what I said to her earlier? I could never leave you for anyone. I want to be with you forever..." 

The boy smiled. "Oh really? I thought that you, the gayest gay I know, would leave me for some psycho bitch." 

Both of them laughed. "Just saying." the older then whispered and kissed his boyfriend. "All I want is you, Jung Daehyun." 

"I love you too, Bbang. And I will never let anyone try to steal you from me again." 

○


	7. DaeJae - No Title

“Youngjae, please! He’s lying! Please let me explain!” Daehyun knocked at the door of the younger’s apartment again and again, but Youngjae just ignored him.

Sighing, Daehyun knelt down, lifted a flower pot and took the key from the hiding spot. He opened the door and went inside the apartment. “Youngjae? Where are you?”

He walked through the kitchen and living room, then he reached the bedroom door. “Jae?” he slowly opened the door and found the boy sitting on the bed, crying. “Go away.” he sobbed and laid down, turning to face the opposite wall. “I don’t want to know why you did this.”

“Jae, I did not cheat on you! You know I never would do this to you!”

“Stop lying, Daehyun. He told me everything. He showed me pictures of you, sleeping in his bed, naked. There’s no need to talk anymore. And don’t try to deny it. ”

“Ah… Yes, I was in his bed. But it’s not how he told you. You know it was his birthday party and all of us were really drunk… I fell asleep on the ground and when I woke up the next morning I was in his bed, he told me he brought me there so I don’t sleep on the floor. I never even thought about cheating on you, Jae…”

He laid down behind the younger and started stroking his back carefully. “Think about it. You know I’m not like this, you know I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Slowly, the boy nodded and turned around. “I.. I love you Hyunnie…” he whispered and Daehyun smiled. “I love you too, baby.” he said and kissed his boyfriend softly. “I’m gonna prove you.”

“What do you mean?” Youngjae asked, slightly confused, but Daehyun just kissed him again. “Shh. Just relax, babe.”

He turned the younger to lay on the back and sat on his crotch. “Close your eyes. And don’t even think about opening them.”

He waited till Youngjae obeyed, then slid his hand under the boy’s shirt, feeling his abs. “Mh- Dae…”

Daehyun chuckled and took his hand back to open Youngjae’s pants. He then got up and removed them along with his boxers.

“Keep your eyes closed.” Daehyun reminded him, and closed his hand around Youngjae’s dick. Youngjae moaned loudly as his partner started moving his hand up and down in a slow pace.

“Feels good, right?” Daehyun asked with a low voice and his hand went faster.

“Y-yeah… Ugh, Dae! Fuck!” suddenly, he felt the older’s wet tounge on the tip of his dick.

Daehyun slowly took the whole length in his mouth, driving the younger crazy. His hand moved to Daehyun’s head and grabbed his hair tightly. His breath became heavier with every second. His eyes still closed, he felt Daehyun’s hand wandering up his body, under his shirt again, starting to lightly touch his left nipple. At the same time he started swirling his tongue around the tip of the boy’s cock.

Youngjae felt himself getting even harder. The once soft moans leaving his mouth became louder and louder.

Hearing this, Daehyun pulled back, grinning at the boy, who opened his eyes.

“Dae… Don’t stop, please…”

The older just winked and took one of his fingers inside his mouth, making it wet enough, before leaning back down, licking Youngjae’s length. Meanwhile, he slowly pushed the tip of his finger inside the younger’s entrance, making him gasp.

“Cute…” he whispered, as he began to move his finger inside the boy.

“Oh my god… Daehyun… Yes…”

“Ah you like that? Do you want to cum?”

“Oh fuck… Yes, I… Holy shit, Dae!” he screamed, as his boyfriend started to suck his dick again.

Youngjae’s whole body was shaking from the pleasure he felt. His hands clenched into the bed sheets. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer. And Daehyun seemed to sense it too, he thrusted his finger deeper inside at the same time as sucking even harder.

Only seconds later, Youngjae came inside his mouth.

Daehyun pulled his finger out, getting one more soft moan from his boyfriend, before swallowing the cum and smiling at the boy.

“You’re so hot, baby. Why would I ever cheat on you? You’re everything I want and everything I need.”

Youngjae was too exhausted to answer. He just nodded, still heavily breathing.

Daehyun chuckled, lying down next to him, wrapping his arms about the boy’s body.

“I love you, and only you.”

“I love you too…” the latter managed to say before kissing him.


	8. JongLo - Maknae

It was late at night and Junhong was tired - how couldn't he be? They had been in different sets for photo shootings all day, barely rested, but now it was finally the last time he had to pose. Since he was the youngest, he was the last one to have his pictures taken, the others had all gone back to the dorm already. 

He was so tired, it was hard focusing on the shoot. Once he hid a yawn with doing a hopefully cool pose with his hand, but luckily it didn't take long anymore - after a few more pictures the director finally announced the end of the shooting. 

Trying not to show how exhausted he was, the boy bowed and thanked the staff, then went to the dressing room to change back into his normal clothes. 

To his surprise, he found Jongup sleeping on one of the sofas in the small room. The dancer was tightly wrapped in his jacket, indeed it was rather cold even though they were inside a building. 

After changing, he went over to the older and carefully shook his shoulder. "Jonguppie hyung~ wake up~" he sang, just when their manager entered the room. 

"You did well today, I was a bit worried you'd be too tired but it went good as it seems." the man said, smiling at him. "Now go home and make sure the two of you get some sleep. I told Jongup to leave when he was done but he insisted on waiting for you." 

"That's nice of him... Don't worry, we will rest when we're home." The boy turned back to Jongup, who had finally woken up. He still looked a little confused and sleepy, but at least he seemed to understand they were ready to leave. 

"You took ages in there..." Jongup mumbled when they sat in the car a bit later. He was leaning against the window, eyes closed, while Zelo sat next to him, texting Yongguk they were on their way home now. 

"It wasn't that long though... Plus I didn't ask you to wait for me... But I'm glad you did." He smiled at the older. 

"Yeah, I didn't want to leave you alone, I know how much you hate that. Youngjae said I was crazy waiting so long but he also left Dae alone back at the 1004 shooting so no need to listen to him." They both laughed, remembering how Daehyun had stolen Youngjae's phone to make him stay there. 

Junhong got lost in his thoughts for a while, since Jongup seemed like he wanted to sleep, and thought about the past few days. It had been a stressful time for the six of them, filming their new video, then all the photo shootings and dance practice... He and Jongup still had to figure out another choreography so they still had lots of work left for the coming days but he was sure they could deal with it. They were the dancers after all. 

When the two of them entered their dorm, they noticed everyone else being in their beds already, which was no surprise since it was far after midnight. 

"Do me a favor and hurry with showering please, I want to go to bed." Junhong playfully hit the older's arm and threw himself onto his bed. 

"What if I don't?" Jongup asked while taking his shirt off, "What are you going to do?" 

"I'll kick in the door and come in." 

"You know I'll be naked?" 

"So what? It's not like you haven't seen me naked before so it would only be fair." 

They both laughed, until Jongup had collected his pajama and went to the bathroom. Zelo stretched out on his bed again, closing his eyes. Everytime he saw Jongup shirtless he felt a bit of envy. Yes, he had abs, but Jongup's were way more defined. And his arms... The boy sighed. He had to start working out more often. He had told Jongup about these thoughts once, but the older had not really taken it seriously. "I don't see your problem, Jelly. You look hella good if you ask me." had been his answer. 

"I suppose he doesn't know this kind of problem... He looks like a god..." Junhong mumbled to himself, not hearing the door of their room opening. 

"What did you say?" 

Jongup's voice let the younger jump. "Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself... You were quick though." 

"Well I thought maybe Yongguk wouldn't like a kicked-in bathroom door." Not taking his eyes off of his friend, Jongup sat down on his own bed. He was still shirtless, just wearing his pajama pants. "Now tell me, who looks like a god?" 

"Nobody, as I said I was just kind of ranting to myself." Junhong bit his lower lip, trying not to look at his best friend's sixpack but Jongup seemed to already have taken notice of it and started smirking. 

"You're talking about me? Ay, Jelly... I feel honored..." he laughed, lying down underneath his blanket. "I'll go sleep now, please be quiet when you come back from the bathroom. Good night~" 

The feeling of waking up after a long relaxing sleep was the best thing on earth, Junhong thought. He got up at twelve, finding Jongup still asleep in his bed. 

Like every morning, he looked at the dancer's facial features. Jongup's lips were slightly parted, letting out deep, even breaths. A few strands of hair were hanging over his eyes, making him look a bit more cute. Junhong would never tell anyone, but he liked looking at the older's face, especially when the latter was asleep since Junhong didn't have to worry about getting caught then. During the day he avoided looking at him for too long, he really didn't want anyone to notice - to be honest he didn't even know why he didn't want to get caught or even why he was staring in the first place. It had become kind of a habit during the last few years. 

He quickly turned around when he heard a knock. Seconds later, Daehyun stuck his head in. "Ah, at least one of you is up. I thought you two wanted to do the choreography today?" 

"We got home late last night, the shooting took pretty long. I'll wake him up in a bit." the maknae went to the closet, getting some fresh clothes. "Would you please leave now? I want to get dressed." 

"Sure. See you later then." 

The vocalist left, closing the door and Junhong sighed. Somehow he wanted to take a day of rest after all the stress lately, but they had to finish the dance soon, so that there was enough time to practice before their next show, but he could at least take some time alone in the practice room to get his head free, if he hurried now... 

He woke up Jongup and went to the kitchen where he had a quick breakfast and a short talk with Yongguk about their appearance on some TV show in a few days, then went to the practice room. 

It felt good dancing without a plan, just following how his body led him. For the first time in weeks he could empty his mind and just flow with the music, and he noticed how much he had missed this feeling of freedom. Sometimes, there wasn't much time in his life as an idol, for doing what you want to do so he enjoyed every moment he could let go from stress. 

He didn't notice how Jongup entered the room after a while, until the door was closed. The boy stopped dancing and turned off the music, lying down on the floor. 

"Good morning hyung" he greeted the older, who still looked pretty tired. 

"Morning Jelly." the black-haired sat down next to him. "Did you sleep well?" 

"Yeah, what about you?" 

"Oh, it was alright I guess." Jongup said, not really telling the truth there. In fact he had been lying awake for hours, even though he had felt really tired and sleepy, but somehow he had not been able to get his mind away from thinking about a certain thing. It had been like this most of the nights for a pretty long time now and he didn't really know what to do about it. Talking to the others about what he had in mind was no option, since he was sure they would call him crazy. 

The two boys spent the whole rest of the day in the practice room, working on the dance, trying old and new moves and slowly, it really began to look like they could be done soon. It was around midnight, when they decided they had worked enough for today. 

"Jonguppie hyung~ Let's go take a walk~" Junhong said, looking out of the window. It had been raining the whole day but now it had stopped and he really wanted to breathe in the fresh air - well, as fresh as the air could be in a city like Seoul. 

Jongup agreed after a short thinking. He also felt the need of seeing something else for a while than walls and his own reflection in a mirror so they went to get their jackets and left the building. 

"So, where do you want to go?" the older asked after a while of just walking down the street. 

"I thought maybe we could get something to eat somewhere, I'm hungry. Then we can go to the park to eat. What do you think?" 

"Sounds good. I'm craving for something to eat as well. Remember the 24 hour store where we went with Youngjae a few weeks ago? I had some good Ramen there..." 

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's go there..." 

They got their food and went to the nearest park afterwards. Junhong took a bite from his sandwich while taking a glimpse over to Jongup who seemed to be in deep thought. 

"Hyung, are you alright?" he asked after a while, when he noticed the older wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. 

"Huh? Yeah, don't worry. I'm just really exhausted..." 

Zelo raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Usually I don't see you cry from being exhausted..." 

"It's nothing, really. I'm fine." he said and forced a smile onto his face. He hated seeing the younger one worried. "We should go home and get some sleep, don't you think?" 

"Alright..." Junhong sighed and gave his hyung a tight hug. "You know if you have anything you want to talk about I'll listen." 

"Thank you, Jelly... I really appreciate that." 

... 

A few days later, they were sitting in a TV studio. The show included them being asked fun questions they had to answer and it was really cool. Though Jongup spaced out after a while while he watched Daehyun telling a story. He was tired, for the same reason as usual. His look switched over to Junhong, as the maknae had to face questions now. He started smiling when Junhong laughed in embarrassment. Cute. This was, in Jongup's eyes, the best way to describe the younger. He was just adorable, especially in moments like this, when he got all shy. Then, Jongup always had to hold himself back from just cuddling the boy. He didn't even notice he started grinning like an idiot, but then, he snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the next question. 

"Zelo, who out of the other members would you choose to go on a date with?" the MC asked with a smile on her face, curiously looking at the youngest. 

Zelo looked at his hyungs, laughing, until his look hit Jongup. The older of the two felt his heart skip a beat, when the boy answered. "I'd go with Jongup hyung." 

After the show, the others started joking about the answers they had given, Daehyun ended up chasing Youngjae through the dressing room and everyone had fun. Just the black-haired dancer could not really enjoy all this. His mind was spinning since that answer Junhong had given, not letting go of the topic, not letting go of the question he kept asking himself: Was there any possible way the maknae's answer had not been just a joke? 

...

"Junhong, would you be so nice and let me win at least once? That's unfair!" Daehyun exclaimed as the maknae beat him again in Mario Kart. The vocalist groaned and put the controller down, when Jongup entered the living room. 

"Dae, it's not that hard to beat Jelly in this game." 

"Oh, really? Then why don't you try beating him?" 

"It's easy so where's the fun in that?" 

"If you win I'll get you the new Attack On Titan season." 

Immediately, Jongup sat down on the sofa, next to the maknae. "Alright, I'm in." 

"Just one more thing. If you lose, you will get me new shoes." 

Jongup looked at him sceptically. "Dae you have way too many shoes already. Why do you want another pair? Where do you even store them?" 

The older grinned. "That's not in your business. Now go on, I wanna see you lose." 

A few minutes later, Daehyun sat on the floor, grumbling while tapping the 'buy' button on the screen of his phone. "Why is this stuff so expensive... It's just anime..." he mumbled, then looked up to Jongup who was still smiling in triumph. 

"Well, it's not as expensive as your shoes. Thanks anyways." He took Zelo by the arm and dragged him to their room, where he let out a deep breath. "Thank you so much for letting me win... I'd have been totally fucked if I lost..." 

"You're welcome. But don't start such a stupid deal next time." 

"I didn't intend to! I just wanted to annoy him a bit, everyone knows you're unbeatable, I had no idea he'd turn it into a bet!" 

"Be thankful I know how broke you are though. I'd feel bad if you had to get him those shoes, but next time you agree to something stupid I won't be so nice. I can't lose my winning rate after all." 

The next day, the two were back in the practice room. The day had finally come to finish off the last bit of the choreography. It took them quite a few hours, but in the late afternoon, they were finally done. 

"Oh my god..." Junhong sighed, pulling his shirt over his head, throwing it into a corner. He felt hot, exhausted and tired, but also happy. Happy the hard work had finally paid off. "I need a fan, please..." 

Moments later, he felt cool air hitting him and opened his eyes to laugh at Jongup, who had taken the boy's shirt to fan him with that. After a few seconds he gave up and lied down next to his friend. "Sorry, too exhausted." 

"No idea what you mean." the boy mumbled, turning his head to face Jongup, who looked him directly in the eyes. 

"Junhong, I'm tired. Let's go back." 

"Oh... Can't we stay here for a little more? I don't feel like getting killed because Daehyun found out we tricked him..." 

"Right... Okay, let's stay here. He'll leave us alone as long as he thinks we're working." 

They just looked at the ceiling for a bit, until Zelo groaned. "Ugh... I can't lie like that for long, I have the feeling like when you're getting water in your nose, it's horrible..." he mumbled, lifting his head from the ground to make the feeling go away. 

"I know what you mean, but I've never had that from lying no matter how long my head hangs... but I can offer you my arm as a pillow so it doesn't happen again." 

"Thanks hyung, you're my savior." the younger smiled as he scooted closer and lied his head down on the latter's stretched out arm. 

Jongup couldn't help but turn his head to nuzzle his face into his friend's soft, blonde hair. He loved the boy's scent, it made him feel comfortable, like home. Every time they hugged he would enjoy it, not wanting to let go. But eventually, he always had to let go - he didn't want to cause anyone to get suspicious because of too long hugs. Even now he had to be careful or Junhong would notice something. 

"Hyung, I-" Junhong started, but stopped when he turned his head and found himself face to face with the older. 

He could not remember ever being that close to him before - well, at least not in a private situation. Of course they had done several games and performances where they had been really really close to each other, but this was different. 

Jongup also was a bit overwhelmed. He thought he should turn his head away, but somehow he couldn't. He was unable to look away from the boy's dark eyes. If he was being honest, he didn't even really want to look away. He just wanted this moment to last forever, because he could imagine what would come afterwards: awkward stutters, apologies, blushing, and getting back to the dorm quickly without talking much, probably this would even last for the rest of the day. 

No, he didn't want that. He wanted to keep lying here with this wonderful boy forever, but of course this wasn't possible. 

Junhong was the first to look away, now staring at the ceiling again, biting his lower lip, his cheeks lightly red. He felt like he had been caught staring at the older, although it was actually the other way around, still he had no idea what to do now. He somehow wanted to talk, he wanted to know if Jongup felt the same, if he also never wanted their hugs to end, if he wanted to keep staring at his face, to cuddle while watching a film together, to fall asleep in his arms... He had so many questions but could not find the right words. Everything he could possibly think of saying sounded stupid in his mind. 

Jongup on the other hand mentally cursed at himself. He could not stop his heart from beating faster and he felt like it was so loud the younger could hear it. What should he do? His mind was completely blank. Maybe this was what made him do what he did next, because he would never have done this if he had been able to think clearly - within a second, he leaned over and kissed the younger. 

In the moment their lips connected, his mind switched back on and he felt a spike of panic shoot through his body. What was he doing? He had to stop this! He would ruin everything, their whole friendship would be broken, just because of him- his stressed thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he felt the younger's hand in his hair. He first expected Junhong to pull his head away, but then the other hand sneaked onto his back and he felt Zelo pulling him closer. His heart jumped when he finally realized that the boy wanted this just as much as he did, he relaxed more and more, letting one hand wander over the younger's stomach, feeling the warm skin under his fingertips, noticing the heartbeat of the latter, which was just as fast as his own. 

Eventually, they broke the kiss due to the need of air. None of them said a word, they were just looking at each other, smiling, breath a bit heavier than usual. 

"You're crazy" Junhong then whispered, still not looking away from the dancer. 

"I knew you'd say that." 

"How?" 

The older shrugged. "I just knew. I've shared a room with you for years, I know how you talk." 

"Still. You're crazy." 

The answer was a laugh. "I probably am, yes." 

"So..." 

"So?" 

"What... does this mean for us now?" 

"What do you want it to mean?" 

Junhong lightly slapped his shoulder. "Ya, you kissed me first. You have to know what that means. Do you want me to be your boyfriend?" 

"I- If you want to be my boyfriend?" 

"I'd love to."


	9. JongLo - Maknae pt. 2 [smut]

"Ya, get off. You're too big to lie on me." Jongup grumbled when Junhong had thrown himself onto the older. The boy just grinned at him, before getting up and leaving to get himself a drink from the kitchen.

The members were currently in the living room, watching a movie Youngjae had chosen, which was a bit pointless since Youngjae had fallen asleep after ten minutes.

When Junhong came back, he sat down next to his boyfriend, exchanging a quick smile with him.

No, they had not told the others about anything. Their relationship was their own little secret, nobody else had to know. That would just make everything more complicated.

Junhong didn't really pay attention to the film, he didn't find it too interesting, until he heard some moans and felt how Jongup next to him tensed up slightly. He looked away from his phone, at the TV, and saw the two main characters being busy with... Well, you can imagine.

The scene didn't take too long, but even afterwards he noticed that his boyfriend wasn't as relaxed as before. What was going on with him? Junhong had to admit the scene had caused a bit of a strange, tingly feeling in his lower stomach but he didn't feel too affected by it. It was just acting after all, nothing to be taken seriously.

Half an hour later, the film ended and Jongup got up from the sofa before the credits had even shown up. He hurried towards their room and left the other members behind, looking after him.

"Wow, looks like he doesn't like the movie too much..." Yongguk mumbled before getting up himself. "Good night guys, sleep well. Oh, and make sure Youngjae ends up in his bed." he said and left.

Zelo helped Daehyun bringing Youngjae to his bed, then went to his own room where he found Jongup lying on his bed.

The dancer had only switched on the small lamp on the night stand, his eyes were closed, his arms crossed on front of his chest.

"Are you alright? You seem tense." Junhong said as he lied down next to the older, who opened his eyes now and turned into his side, wrapping his arms around the maknae.

"I'm perfectly fine." was the only answer Junhong got, before Jongup started kissing him.

The kiss started slow, but Junhong could feel Jongup wasn't satisfied with that when the older started moving his lips in a slightly more rough way than before. The maknae wasn't used to this and had a hard time following his movements which Jongup seemed to notice. He pulled back, looking him in the eyes.

"Am I being too fast?" he whispered, concerned the boy might be overwhelmed by his actions.

Junhong shook his head. "Not much. It's okay, I just... I need to get used to this..."

"I understand. I'll try to take it slow, even though it's hard since you're just irresistibly hot..." he leaned over again, pecking the boy's lips. "I love kissing you... I love everything about you, baby..."

The younger laughed. "Did you just call me baby? I'm taller than you..."

"Mhmm... But I'm older... you're only 22, babe..." slowly, Jongup traced his boyfriend's jawline with his fingertips, then moving on to the boy's neck.

Junhong closed his eyes, sighing in enjoyment of the feather-like touches on the soft, sensitive skin of his neck. He almost automatically tilted his head back to give Jongup more room for touching him, which the older took advantage of, starting to carefully nip on the side of the maknae's neck.

The latter felt his breath getting heavier, deeper, while the rate of his heartbeat increased. His whole body started filling with a tingling, yet wonderful, warm feeling, rushing through his veins like fire.

There were just the two of them in this moment, he had forgotten about everything else around them. All he could think about was Jongup, the things he made him feel with his kisses, his touches, with the soft whispers he let out now and then, telling Junhong how much he loved him.

The younger felt his hyung's hand moving, crawling under his shirt. He opened his eyes, giggling. "Your hand is cold..." he mumbled, to what Jongup raised his head to look him in the eyes.

"Won't be for long since you're so hot~" he kissed Junhong's cheek, then whispered in his ear. "Can I take your shirt off?"

The answer was a nod. The maknae was too breathless to form many words, in the back of his mind he already knew where this was leading. He had always thought that he would be nervous, insecure about doing these things with someone else, but to his surprise, he felt nothing like that. He trusted Jongup, he felt so comfortable and safe with him, there was not a single spark of doubt in his mind.

Then, Jongup pulled the boy's shirt off, now sitting on the younger thighs, letting both of his hands run over Junhong's body.

If Junhong had before been able to ignore the more and more intense feeling of himself getting harder inside his jeans, this was over now. He felt like his pants were too tight, and he knew Jongup had noticed the more than obvious bulge, when the older smirked, leaning down to his ear again.

"Looks like you are enjoying what I do..." His fingers went back to the maknae's neck, caressing the skin, before slightly pressing down against his throat.

When he felt the pressure on his throat, the younger gasped, a whimper escaping his mouth. He could not explain what exactly this rather rough motion made him feel, but he knew he wanted more of this. He grabbed Jongup's hand, holding it in place, even slightly increasing the pressure. Then, the dancer's breath hit his ear again in a short laugh.

"Do you like that? I didn't even intend to do it but if it makes you feel good, why not?" he whispered, then lightly biting Zelo's earlobe, pulling at the piercing with his teeth. "Do you trust me? Do you want this, too?"

Junhong shivered, when the older's fingers brushed over his chest, touching his left nipple for a split second. "Yes, of course."   
He noticed Jongup had also gotten more excited; his movements seemed quicker, more impatient and desperate. The maknae was curious - he let his eyes look at the older's crotch for a moment and licked his lips when he saw he wasn't the only one horny.

His hand went up to the rim of the dancer's shirt, pulling it up and off, letting it fall to the floor. His eyes could not get away from the older's now revealed body, his perfectly trained abs, his smooth, tan skin.

For the first time he could take all the time he wanted to look over Jongup' s body, taking in all those perfect features, without worrying about getting caught. It is needless to say that Junhong enjoyed this moment, getting lost in his own thoughts, adoring the man he loved so much.

Eventually, his eyes shifted back up to the other's face, finding the latter smiling at him.

"I am all yours" Jongup whispered, making the boy underneath him smile.

"You better be."

Laughing, the older leaned down again, kissing his boyfriend's lips in a slow, passionate way, while his hands went to unbutton the latter's pants. "And you're all mine... Nobody else can have you..." 

Junhong moaned lowly when the dancer slid his boxers down along with his pants. "Jongup... Please..." 

The older looked at him with a smirk. "What do you want, babe?" He reached for the younger's dick, lightly stroking it. When the boy moaned again, he cursed as he felt himself getting harder. He had always wanted this, imagined it for ages. One of the hardest challenges for him had been during the AWAKE - Tour, when he had to watch Junhong performing performing to "Pillowtalk" again and again. Now, this sexy boy was finally his - his only. 

"Tell me, what do you want? I'm waiting~" His hand didn't stop moving, Zelo found it hard to find any words at all, due to all the pleasure he was feeling already. 

"Shit... I want... I want you to put your hand around my neck..." 

Jongup laughed, fulfilling the wish. "So our maknae is into choking, huh?" 

"Shut up before I decide to top you." The younger grinned dirtily, his fingers undoing Jongup's pants now. The latter quickly got out of them, before positioning himself over the younger again, staring in his eyes. 

"You could never top me. You're a virgin, Junnie." 

"Fuck you." The maknae tangled his fingers in Jongup's hair, pulling him down to kiss him roughly, while his other hand made its way over the dancer's back, slapping his ass. 

Immediately, Jongup bit the boy's lower lip. "Ya, don't you do that." He got up spinning Junhong around, so he was now lying on his belly. "I'll show you what bad boys get." He went over to his closet, taking out a choker which he closed around Junhong's neck. He made it just a little bit too tight, so the younger could still breath, but he definetly got the tight feeling. 

"You like that?" 

Junhong nodded. He loved it. He loved, that Jongup did this to him, he loved the feeling of pressure on his throat. He just wanted the older to take him. 

He felt Jongup spreading his legs, kneeling down in between. Then, his hands were on the boy's cheeks, gripping the flesh tightly, while he growled a curse. "Let me fuck you, Junnie." 

When there was no answer, he leaned down, licking a stripe in between the boy's cheeks, making him jump and moan. "Yes, hyung. Please fuck me." 

"I will, baby." Jongup opened the drawer of his night stand, where he had a bottle of lube hidden. 

Junhong noticed it, smirking. "Why is this used?" 

"Lonely nights. Now shut up and relax or this will hurt." 

The maknae did as he was told, closing his eyes, while Jongup poured a bit of lube onto his fingers. "Ready?" 

"Yeah." Junhong said, biting his lip as something cold made contact with his hole. When the first finger entered him, he gripped the pillow he was lying on. The feeling was weird, unnatural, he couldn't quite tell if it was a good or a bad weird, but it turned him on more so it was probably good. 

After a while, he felt Jongup pushing in a second finger. This time, it hurt a bit, causing him to gasp, but the pain disappeared quickly from Jongup being very gentle with him. 

"Just one more, baby, then it's done..." he felt Jongup whisper in his ear, and a third digit moved inside him. His fingers clawed the pillow and he moaned, he couldn't take it any longer and moved back against Jongup's fingers. 

His boyfriend chuckled. "Someone is needy I see. One more moment." He pulled out his fingers, once again grabbing the lube, spreading some on his cock. "Turn around for me, I want to look you in the eyes. I want to see how good you feel." 

Junhong shuddered after these words, Jongup had made it sound like a command, his voice lower than ever, and the younger just wanted him even more now. 

He turned onto his back, slowly stroking his own cock as he watched Jongup positioning himself between the maknae's legs. 

"Na-ah babe, no touching yourself. You only do that when I tell you to. Understand?" 

"Yes hyung." 

"Good boy." Jongup ruffled the younger's hair, then started pushing himself in. His eyes fluttered shut as the pleasure shot through his body, but he opened them to watch Junhong's expression. The maknae lied there beneath him, hands gripping the sheets, chest moving in heavy, deep breaths. This surely was nothing short of beautiful, Jongup thought, when the boy moaned. 

"Hyung, move please..." Junhong looked up at his boyfriend, begging him with his eyes to start moving. He was desperate, but Jongup seemed to enjoy torturing him, waiting another half minute before he finally pulled out halfway, to start thrusting into the boy at a quite slow pace. 

"Oh my god, Jongup~" The younger moaned loudly, grabbing Jongup's shoulders, pulling him down in a kiss. 

Soon, Jongup had to break the kiss. He lied his forehead on Junhong's chest, breathing heavily, but not stopping to kiss the skin under his lips, nipping on it now and then. It felt incredibly good, never before he had felt such pleasure. 

One of his hands moved behind the maknae's neck, grabbing onto the choker, pulling at it a little to make it tighter. The reaction was a "Fuck yes, Jongup" from Junhong, making him smirk to himself, before he sped up thrusting. 

The two dancers were a moaning mess, neither one of them cared about the fact that they were probably being a bit too loud or that it was nearly two in the morning. All they could think of was, how long they had waited to do that, how long they had been hiding this in their fantasies and wet dreams. 

"Junhong" Jongup panted, "I want you to touch yourself" 

"Thank you, hyung" the younger wrapped his fingers around his dick, starting to stroke it at the same pace as the older's thrusts. 

Jongup went even faster, both of them knew they wouldn't last much longer, but it didn't matter. 

Junhong was first, which was probably no surprise since he was a virgin and Jongup basically wrecked his sensitive spot. "Hyung, I'm gonna-" he almost screamed, Jongup then put his own hand on top of Junhong's, now jerking him off together, until the maknae came onto his stomach, moaning his boyfriend's name. 

Jongup thrusted into him a few more times before coming as well, biting his lip to muffle his noises, shooting inside the younger while grabbing the boy's neck. 

"Fuck" he then sighed, when he pulled out and dropped onto the bed next to Junhong. 

They both took a while to come back to their senses, calming their breath, then Junhong looked over to the dancer. "Forget what I said about topping you." 

Jongup laughed, rolling over to remove the choker from the maknae's neck. "See, I told you. Also, I never expected you to be that kinky. Look at your neck, this thing has left marks and you fucking enjoyed it." 

They grinned at each other, before the younger grabbed a few tissues to clean them up. "Hey, just because I'm the maknae doesn't mean I'm as innocent as I look sometimes." 

"Right. Sorry, sometimes I still see you as the innocent baby you were back in debut days, but in fact you're a grown up man... a hella sexy man." 

They laughed, cuddling up under the messed-up sheets, still looking each other in the eyes. 

"I love you, Junnie. Thank you for trusting me." 

"I love you too~ And thank you for accepting my weird kink." he giggled, when there suddenly was a knock on the wall to be heard. On the other side of this wall was Daehyun and Youngjae's room. 

"You finally done over there?" the older vocalist's voice shouted, making them blush. 

"You think he heard us?" Junhong asked. 

"Nah, he can't have." Jongup answered, before they couldn't hold back laughing. 

○


	10. BangLo - Secret Love

Yongguk got up around 7 am. He went to the bathroom, then to the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the two of them. An hour later, he wondered where Junhong, his roommate and best friend, was. The younger was usually up before him, but he was nowhere to be seen. 

Yongguk went to the boy's room, knocking, before carefully opening the door. The room was almost fully dark, the curtains were closed, the only light coming from the screen of the computer the boy sat in front of. He had his arms on the table, his head lying on his arms, sleeping. 

The older went to him and carefully shook his shoulder. "Hey, wake up." 

Junhong groaned, slowly raising his head, rubbing his eyes. "Shit... I fell asleep..." he mumbled, looking at Yongguk. "How late is it?" 

"Eight in the morning. I told you to not stay up so long~" 

"I know but I didn't go any further with the song and I need to finish it soon..." 

Yongguk sighed. "Junhong, you won't go anywhere without enough rest. When you're tired, sleep. Don't overwork yourself, I've done that and it didn't help at all." 

The boy nodded. "Okay hyung..." he yawned. "Have you made breakfast?" 

... 

About three in the morning, Yongguk was woken up by a noise from the next room. He got up and hurried to Junhong's room, opening the door. "Junnie! What happened?" 

The younger sat on the floor, looking confused and checking his wrist. "Ouch.." 

"Are you okay?" Yongguk helped him up and made him sit on the bed. 

"My wrist hurts... I must have fallen asleep and fell from the chair..." 

The older shook his head. "Junhong, what did I tell you about sleep?" he asked softly. He tried to sound mad but in reality, he was just worried about the boy he cared for so much. He was really too stressed lately... 

"I'm sorry... I'm just scared I can't finish it... nothing works and then there's you, you're always so fast at making songs and they're all amazing... I feel like I can never be like you... I can't even finish one song on time..." Junhong almost started crying, finally letting those thoughts out. "I feel like I have failed you when I can't finish it or when I ask for help... You showed me so much, you gave so much time and work for me and still I can't do it... I want you to be proud of me, I want to show you how much all this means to be, but I can't..." 

He was interrupted by Yongguk pulling him into a hug. "Junhong..." he whispered, "Calm down. Please, you don't have to worry about anything like that, you will never fail me. I haven't been that good from the beginning and even today, I never think about any of my works as perfect, but that's completely normal. You always find mistakes in your own works. You're still learning and I am already proud of you for every step you go in learning how to make music. Even if one day you decided you don't want to do this anymore, I would accept it and support you with whatever you decide to do. Please ask me for help when you need it. Don't hide your problems from me, I want to help you, I really like helping you, please ask me when you need to." 

"Thank you, Yongguk hyung..." 

The older smiled and pulled back, looking him in the eyes. "That has really bothered you, hm?" 

Junhong nodded. "For pretty long to be honest..." 

"Ow, Junnie. Don't worry anymore... I'll always be there for you, I promise." He ruffled the boy's blonde hair. "You need some sleep now. How's your wrist?" 

"It's getting better already. I think it'll be okay." 

"Good. Then get under your blanket now and rest. I have a surprise for you tomorrow." 

When Junhong had fallen asleep a little bit later, Yongguk still sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the boy. He wasn't only worried the younger was working so much, he also felt like there was something else bothering the blonde. Junhong often seemed deeply in thought when he thought Yongguk wasn't looking and it gave Yongguk a headache not knowing what was bothering the boy. 

Usually, they told each other about everything - well, actually, Yongguk was hiding something from Junhong, but the boy didn't know he did and this was something Yongguk could not just tell him like it was normal, because it clearly was not - at least not in Korea's society. 

Eventually he got up, turned off the younger's computer and went to bed himself. Hopefully, what he had planned would help Junhong to relieve stress... 

... 

"Where are we going?" Junhong asked for the tenth time already, as they got out of the train. He looked around and noticed they had arrived in a small town in the countryside. 

"I told you already, we're going to take a week off of everything. We both need to get away from work for a bit, especially you, so I asked my aunt if we could stay at her place for a week to relax." 

"But Yongguk, I need to finish the song, I only have a month until the deadline-" 

Yongguk shook his head. "Stop thinking about this for a while. That's why I brought you here, you need rest." 

Junhong wanted to protest, but he realized it would not help anything. Yongguk was serious about this and he didn't want to upset the older. 

... 

That evening, they sat in the kitchen until midnight, together with his aunt and her son Himchan, mostly speaking about childhood memories, until the doorbell rang and Himchan's girlfriend arrived. 

"Mom, we're going to my room." Himchan said. 

His mother nodded, grinning. "Behave!" 

Yongguk chuckled at his cousin rolling his eyes to that, before stretching his arms. "I'm tired. Junnie, let's go to bed." They got up, said good night to his aunt and went to the guest room they stayed in. Yongguk lied down on the big bed, sighing. 

"What's wrong?" Junhong asked, sitting down next to him, pulling his shirt off. 

"I always get a bit jealous seeing Himchan with his girlfriend, that's all." the older answered, trying not to look at his shirtless best friend. 

"Jealous? Why? Do you- do you like her?" 

Yongguk stayed silent for a while, thinking about what to answer. He shouldn't have started this conversation at all, he always avoided speaking about the topic of relationships, worried that Junhong might notice something. He couldn't let the younger know that he wasn't into girls, that he was gay, and, the worst, that he was in love with the boy. 

He knew this was wrong, it was not accepted in their society and sometimes he wished they had grown up somewhere else, in a country where homosexuality wasn't seen as something wrong, where gay people didn't have to fear losing their job if someone found out... 

Eventually, he answered with a light nod. He hated lying to his best friend, but he didn't see another way to get out of this situation without the boy noticing something. 

Junhong felt like his heart stopped beating. There was a weird pain spreading in his chest and stomach, he suddenly wanted to break down and cry, but he bit his lip, trying to not show Yongguk any signs of how hurt he was. He had never really believed there could ever be something between the two of them, but still there had always been a spark of hope - which was now destroyed by the simple motion of Yongguk and he regretted asking this question. 

"Oh... that sucks..." he just mumbled before getting up. "I'll go to the bathroom." 

... 

Yongguk was woken up two hours later by a noise in the room on the other side of the wall behind their bed. He sat up, seeing Junhong being awake and on his phone. 

"It's been like that for half an hour" he said without looking at Yongguk, "Isn't that Himchan's room?" 

"Yeah. I guess they're having fun." He sighed. "Did you wake up from that as well?" 

Junhong shook his head. "I haven't even slept yet." 

"Oh... Why not?" Yongguk was confused. Junhong seemed kind of down, he spoke in a monotone voice and didn't even look at him. 

"I'm just not tired." 

The older made a "Hmm"-sound, before having an idea. "Hey, what do you think about taking a walk? I really don't want to hear them and the fresh air at night is really relaxing..." 

Ten minutes later they left the house, just following the road, until they reached a small park where they sat down on a bench, nobody saying a word. 

After a while, Yongguk noticed tears on the younger's cheeks and finally broke the silence. "Junnie, what's wrong?" 

"It's nothing..." the boy said quietly, before suddenly losing control. He sobbed, covering his face with his hands. He had been able to hold this back the whole night, but now he wasn't strong enough anymore. He didn't want to show his weak side to Yongguk, he didn't want him to find out that he liked him a bit too much, but he couldn't help it. 

"This doesn't look like nothing" he heard the other's soft, deep voice, before being pulled into a hug which he immediately returned. Junhong felt embraced in Yongguk's warmth, and wrapped his arms around the older tightly, as if he was scared Yongguk would just disappear. He wanted this to last forever, he never wanted to let Yongguk go... 

"It's okay.." Yongguk whispered, as he slowly broke the hug, now looking the younger in the eyes. He raised his hand, wiping the tears off his cheeks. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

Junhong shook his head. "I've just been overthinking something. It'll be okay." 

"Alright. Still, if you wanna talk, you know I'm here." 

... 

A few weeks later, they came home from a party, both exhausted but happy. As their took their shoes off, Junhong grabbed Yongguk's arm. "Hyung, I finished the song today! Do you want to hear it?" 

"Oh, of course! I'm waiting for this since the day you started working on it." he grinned, following Junhong to his room where he sat on the bed while the younger went to the computer. 

"I really hope I did okay... I tried to put my emotions in it..." He said, then started the song. 

It was a rather slow song, the lyrics telling about a secret love and a heartbreak, because the person loving someone else. Yongguk was almost overwhelmed by the emotion, by the feeling he got from listening to this, and the thought that Junhong was going through all this feelings made him get up. He went over to the younger who still stood in front of the computer, and hugged wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. His chin resting in the boy's shoulder. 

"Is this all real?" he asked quietly and Junhong nodded, trying to hold back the tears. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yongguk made him turn around to face him, one of his hands moving down to the younger's carefully taking it. 

"I couldn't." 

"But why?" He hugged him again and Junhong closed his eyes. He loved everything about the older. His soft hugs, the warmth of his body, the scent of his perfume on his soft skin, his deep, calm voice and the caring looks Yongguk gave him every time their eyes met - and suddenly he felt that Yongguk would never judge him, never leave him, no matter what happened. 

"Because it's about you." 

Yongguk took a few seconds until he realized what Junhong had just said, until he realized that he and his stupid lie had been the reason for the boy crying back in the night at the park, and he felt so guilty that he just wanted to turn back time to not make this mistake. 

When there was no reaction from Yongguk, Junhong wanted to pull away, but the older kept him from that, holding him tightly. 

"Don't let go..." he whispered, almost crying from the guilty feeling inside him. "I'm so sorry, Junhong..." 

"For what?" The younger was confused by Yongguk's reaction. He had expected everything, but not this. 

"I'm sorry for lying to you, for hurting you, I never wanted to make you feel like this... I love you, Junhong, I just was too scared and too stupid to tell you..." He pulled back a little, looking at the younger, who stared at him, obviously surprised. 

"Hyung... are you serious?" 

Yongguk nodded, taking his hand again, interwining their fingers. "I mean it. Can you forgive me for being so stupid?" 

"Y- Yes, of course..." he started smiling lightly. "I understand why you did this... Just don't do it again." 

"Never. I promise." He ran his hand through Junhong's blonde hair, then to his cheek, slowly caressing his skin. "You mean so much to me... I'm so relieved this is finally solved..." 

The younger chuckled lightly. "Took you long enough. You'll have to make up for this." 

"I will, don't worry." He grinned, dragging the younger to the bed, where they lied down. Yongguk covered them with the blanket before placing his hand on the other's cheek again, looking him in the eyes. "I love you" he whispered, before carefully kissing him. He felt how the boy immediately joined in, wrapping one arm around Yongguk's body, the other hand taking his. 

He couldn't believe this was finally really happening. This was everything he had ever wanted, it felt so good not having to hide his feelings anymore. Junhong was finally his, and he could not be happier.


	11. BangHim - Offline

Himchan had met Yongguk in a chatroom about dog care when he had been searching for tips to help his sister with choosing which food to buy for her dog, which had an allergy on certain ingredients. Yongguk had been the one to help him a lot, answering his questions very detailed and giving him good solutions for the problem. 

Eventually, they had started texting in private, which had now been going on for about twoyears, and although Himchan did not live far from Seoul, where Yongguk lived, they had never met. Not that they didn't want to do so, but Himchan had to learn that Yongguk was not the kind of person who was into real-life contact with people. The older preferred to keep it online, where he didn't have to face anyone. Yongguk had also said he would like to meet Himchan, but he said he just wasn't ready. 

At the moment, Himchan was sitting in front of his computer, watching his favorite series for the fourth time, when he heard his phone ring. Pausing the video, he got up to get his phone from the bed. When he saw the caller's name, his heart skipped a beat. 

Yongguk had never called him, the only thing where Himchan had heard his voice was the one single voice message the other had sent him a while ago. Why did he call him now? 

Heart racing, he picked up the phone. 

"Hey." 

"Hey... Do you... Do you have time?" 

When he heard Yongguk's voice, Himchan felt goosebumps running down his spine. He had never told anyone, but he listened to Yongguk's voice message almost every night before he went to sleep. The other's deep, calm voice made him feel so relaxed, somehow even made him smile. Hearing it now, really talking to him, made him so happy - but at the same time he felt like something was wrong. Quickly, he got his thoughts together and responded. 

"Of course I have time. What is it?" 

Yongguk sighed. "I just felt like I needed to talk to someone... I can't sleep and I feel a bit down, so I thought maybe talking to you would help..." 

"Well, I am here for you. I'd love to help you." 

"Thank you... I hope I'm really not disturbing you... What are you doing at the moment?" 

"You're not disturbing at all, don't worry. I was just watching something. How was your day?" 

"I went to the vet with Tigger today, he has a cold. Now he's mostly sleeping..." 

"Oh, really? That poor little guy, I hope he get's better soon." 

"I hope so, too." 

None of them said anything, until Himchan could not take the awkward silence anymore. 

"Yongguk?" 

"Mhmm?" 

"Um... Remember what I said a few days ago? That night when I was drunk and super emotional about being lonely and stuff?" 

"You said that you love me." 

"Y- Yes... well, what I want to say is, I'm sorry about saying that, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything... I just realized I never apologized for that so, yeah..." 

"You don't have to apologize about this." 

"Huh? Why not?" 

"You didn't make me uncomfortable or anything. I know how you felt in that moment, I have this feeling a lot. Feeling lonely makes you say and think things which might not be true." 

"But... why did you stop texting me after that message then?" 

"That's complicated. Anyways, it's good when you realize that the things you felt in that moment were just because of the loneliness. It's important to realize that love is something that doesn't really exist." 

"Um... Yeah..." Himchan just mumbled. The truth was, this feeling he had told Yongguk about back in that night was still there. It never stopped, he had been feeling this way for what felt like an eternity. He really liked the other, way more than just as a friend, and he felt like he just had to tell him right now, that this had not been just due to his mood back then, but this chance was gone now. It was obvious Yongguk just wanted to end this topic. 

"So what are your plans for next week? You said something about having the week off yesterday, didn't you?" Yongguk asked, now really switching topics. 

"Actually I wanted to come to Seoul for two days to visit my grandma for her birthday. But apart from that I haven't really planned anything since all my friends are busy." 

"Well, I'm not." 

Himchan chuckled. "But you won't hang out with me." 

"I could..." Yongguk sounded a bit insecure, saying this and Himchan realized that he was serious. 

"Wait, really?" 

"Yeah... If you're in Seoul anyways, you could just... come over for a day or two..." 

"I'd love to! But only if it's really okay for you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable." 

"I've known you for two years now, so it can't be that bad. As I said before, I would really like to meet you... I just have to convince my head that this is nothing bad..." 

... 

To say that Himchan was nervous when he parked his car at the address Yongguk had told him, would be an understatement. He could barely undo his seatbelt with his shaky fingers. Today, one of his biggest wishes was fulfilled - he would finally meet Yongguk. He was happy, but also a bit worried. What would the other think about the real-life Himchan? What if he found him annoying or just decided he did not like being with him? 

Taking a deep breath, the young man tried to shake off those thoughts. It would be okay. Everything would be fine, just as he wanted it to be. 

He got out of the car, got his bag from the trunk and went towards the building, checking the names on the doorbell signs, before pressing the one with Yongguk's name. A few seconds later, he heard the other's voice through the speaker. 

"Yes?" 

"Hey, it's me..." he said, then the door was unlocked and he entered the hallway. 

Arriving in the third floor - his heart had already doubled it's pace - he saw Yongguk, already standing in the doorway to his apartment. The older started smiling when he saw Himchan. 

"You took long to get up here~" 

Himchan grinned. "My bag is heavy, though. You could have come downstairs to help me." 

"It doesn't look that heavy. Come, I'll take it." He took the bag (which really was kind of heavy and made him wonder what Himchan had brought) and lead his visitor to the living room. "Um... Sorry for the mess, I haven't had the time to clean up before you came..." he mumbled. 

Himchan took a look around the room. There was a bit of stuff lying around, a tower of books in the corner and a bunch of sheets of paper on the table. In the corner stood a big sofa, on which lied Tigger, Yongguk's dog. "Oh, don't worry. I don't find it that bad, my apartment is never really cleaned either. How's Tigger doing?" 

"He's doing way better already, I have to take him to the vet again tomorrow, for a check-up, but he should be alright." 

"I'm glad to hear that. Sorry, but can you show me the bathroom? I got stuck in traffic for over an hour, so..." 

"Sure, I'll show you everything. The bathroom is this way..." 

... 

Around half past one at night, Himchan eventually lied on the sofa in the dark living room. He wanted to sleep, but he just could not stop smiling. He had only been here one evening and he already knew it had been the right decision to come here. After he arrived, they had went grocery shopping, cooked dinner, taken a walk with Tigger and watched a movie Yongguk had wanted to show him. 

The whole evening had been filled with laughter and long conversations, and Himchan had realized that Yongguk was really the sweetest person he had ever met. His calm, shy personality was something Himchan really liked a lot. He felt so comfortable with the older, he wished he could stay here longer than just the planned three days. 

After a while, he got up to go to the bathroom. As he left it after a few minutes, he noticed a light from the open kitchen door and went to check. 

Yongguk stood at the counter, so Himchan was facing his back, and switched on the water boiler. Then, he turned around. 

"Oh, hey. Why are you up?" he asked quietly, sounding a bit down. 

"I couldn't sleep. What about you?" 

Yongguk opened the cupboard and took out a mug. "I had a pretty bad dream and woke up, so I decided to make myself a cup of tea. Do you want one, too? The tea helps with sleep problems..." 

"Sure, thank you." Himchan sat on a chair while Yongguk prepared their tea, then sitting down on the opposite of him, waiting for the water to be ready. 

The older let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a moments, covering his face with his hands. Himchan noticed his breath was shaky and he seemed a bit restless. "Are you okay?" he asked when Yongguk got up to get the now boiling water. 

"Hmm... Yeah, it's just, the dream was really intense, but I'll be alright. It was just a dream after all." 

"Do you want to tell me what the dream was?" 

"It's always the same... Ever since my last relationship... Almost every night I dream about my partner back then and what she did to me..." He shook his head. "But I'm used to it. When it happens I get up, have a cup of tea and go back to sleep." 

"That happens almost every night? You never told me about this... I didn't even know you ever had a girlfriend..." 

"Well, I didn't think you would like to hear it. But yeah, I had a girlfriend, years ago, and it was a mistake." He handed Himchan one of the cups and sat back down

"Thanks. What did your girlfriend... do to you?" 

"Hm... She cheated on me and when I found out and confronted her, she just told me that she did it because I was not a real man... and that nobody will ever want someone like me because I'm too soft and not manly enough, but she stayed with me because I gave her money when she needed it... that's the short version of the story, I don't really want to talk about the details... but she was someone I trusted more than anyone else and she betrayed me, so dreaming of this is not very nice." 

"Oh my god... how could she do this to you..." Himchan mumbled, kind of speechless about what Yongguk had just told him. How could someone hurt this sweet, caring person so much? "Is this why you said to me that love doesn't exist?" 

Yongguk nodded lightly. 

"But... wouldn't that mean that you did not love her? Why were you in a relationship then?" 

"I thought I loved her, but it was just my brain playing tricks on me in times of loneliness. I wanted to have someone with me and, well, so my brain searched for someone to be with." 

"I understand... but... I believe in love. Of course our brain does things like this sometimes, so we end up with the wrong person, but not always. I think that there is something like real love which not just comes from us being lonely." 

Yongguk smiled softly at Himchan's words. "You seem to be a very romantic person. Please just make sure you don't make the same mistake as I did." 

"Don't worry, I'll be alright. But... do you really have no hope that you will find someone you love one day?" 

"This is a complicated question. You know, I... I don't like being all alone all the time. Sometimes I feel like I just need someone special... someone to be with, someone who is there for me in difficult situations... But then again I am scared. I don't want something like this to happen again and I don't trust in things like love anymore... Actually, I barely trust anyone at all, except my family..." 

Himchan carefully lied his fingertips on the back of the older's hand, making him look him in the eyes. "What about me? You let me came here, you are telling me all these things... Do you trust me?" 

It took a few seconds, before Yongguk nodded. "I trust you..." he said quietly, "That's why I invited you... I wanted to... I wanted to show myself that you are not a danger, I wanted to try to get out of thinking everyone will hurt me if I let them close. I really wanted to meet you and I didn't want my brain to keep me from this." 

"I see... I think it's good that you're trying to get out of this way of thinking, even if it is probably not easy. If I can help you in any way, feel free to ask me." 

The older smiled. "Thank you." 

They sat there for a while, silently drinking their tea, until suddenly, the doorbell rang, startling both of them. 

"God, my heart..." Yongguk sighed and got up. "I'll go check." 

Himchan followed him to the door. When Yongguk opened it, they saw three young men in the hallway, one looking very confused, while the two others were laughing like there was no tomorrow. 

When they noticed Yongguk, the tallest of them forced himself to stop laughing. "Sorry, he's a bit drunk and confused the doorbell with the light switch. I hope he didn't wake you up." 

Yongguk grinned. "I see. No, don't worry, you didn't wake up anyone, you just gave us a heart attack. I didn't know you had a party tonight, though." 

The other chuckled. "Well, we noticed you have a visitor, so we didn't want to seem like rude neighbors who disturb others with loud parties. By the way, when will you finally come over for one? I'm asking you every time and you always say no... It would be so much fun though!" Then, his friend who had rang the bell stumbled towards the stairs, making the tall guy gasp and hurry after him. "Oh my god, Youngjae, wait for me! You'll fall down without help!" 

He helped the other down the stairs, while the third one of them went back inside the apartment. Yongguk closed the door and they went back to the kitchen. "Ah, those boys... Always having parties... I feel like they never sleep at all." 

"He seemed nice, though." 

"Yes, he is. they both are, actually, just that his boyfriend Jongup - the one who stayed up here - never really talks much. I think the only time he really spoke with me for longer than a few seconds was when they moved in and they needed some tools for their furniture." 

"They are a couple? That's cute." 

"Yeah, and it looks a bit funny when they're standing next to each other since Junhong is way taller as you saw." He grinned. 

Himchan chuckled, stretching his arms. "I can imagine. Your tea is really good though, I'm already feeling sleepy~" 

"See, I told you. Let's go back to sleep then." 

... 

It was the night before Himchan had planned to go back home, when he woke up in the middle of the night from a sound. It took a few seconds before he could tell it was Tigger, whining in the hallway. 

He got up to check what was wrong and found the dog sitting in front of Yongguk's bedroom door, whining and scratching the door. 

"Hey, do you want to go in there?" he asked softly, wondering why the dog was sitting here since usually he slept on his blanket in the living room. Then, he heard something from inside the bedroom. It sounded like sobbing and he felt how his chest started aching. Was Yongguk crying? Why? Should he look after him? 

Himchan decided this was the only thing he could do, since the worry would not let him sleep anyways, and carefully knocked on the door, before opening it. Immediately, Tigger ran into the room, jumping onto the bed. 

"Yongguk? Can I come in?" Himchan asked quietly. The answer was a barely audible "Yes", so he entered the room, closing the door afterwards. "What's wrong?" He stepped closer to the bed and found his friend sitting up, hugging his dog. He was clearly crying, Himchan could see the tears on his cheeks in the light from a street lamp outside the window. 

Yongguk gestured for him to sit down, before he spoke with a shaky voice. "Himchan, I... I don't want you to leave... I don't want to be alone again..." 

"But you're not alone. You have Junhong and Jongup right next door and we can always talk..." 

"Junhong and Jongup are not you. They are fun, but..." he trailed off, not knowing how to express his feelings. He just wanted Himchan to stay with him, at least for a few more days. His nightmares and thoughts were giving him such a hard time lately and he felt like being with Himchan made it all at least a bit better, because he could talk about all this, he knew Himchan was there and would listen and for the first time, he did not want to move the conversation back online. He wanted this man to stay right here with him. 

The younger sighed lightly and moved over to hug Yongguk. "I can stay for the rest of the week if you want. To be honest I don't feel like going back home already." 

"Thank you... Maybe we can meet more often in the future... I really like being with you... You helped me so much with just being here... It's strange because when you arrived, I could not even hug you and now I never want to let you go... I think I really like you, Himchan..." 

Himchan smiled lightly. He really wanted this to be true, but he had to remind himself of the things Yongguk had said about his opinion on love and all these things. "Yongguk, remember what you told me. Don't trust the things you feel when you're lonely." 

The older broke the hug, looking him in the eyes. "I know what I said... but this is different... I know I can trust you and I really want to be with you because it makes me feel better. You're there for me when I need someone and I don't want anyone else but you to be this person for me and I also want to be this person for you... This is not just the loneliness talking, this is what I really feel." 

"What if I told you that what I said back in that night was not just the loneliness either?" 

"Really?" 

Himchan nodded. "Yeah. I've felt this way for quite a while... It was just the loneliness making me finally say it because I would have never managed to tell you otherwise... But yeah, I also want you to be that person for me..." 

"Channie..." Yongguk pulled him closer again, his hand softly ruffling Himchan's hair, before he kissed his cheek. "Thank you." 

... 

The next morning, Himchan woke up from Yongguk moving next to him. He opened his eyes, seeing the older smile at him. "Good morning." 

Himchan chuckled. "How long have you been watching me?" he joked and laughed, when he saw Yongguk blush. 

"Um... might have been a while..." 

"Stalker. Did you sleep well?" 

"Yes, I think I haven't slept this good in years. What about you?" 

"It was pretty good. You're warm and comfy~" 

The older grinned. "Glad to hear that. Are you hungry?" 

"Not yet..." Himchan said, turning over on his back, "I'm still tired... Can we stay here for a while?" 

"Alright, as you wish, princess." 

"What?" Himchan laughed. "When did you start calling me princess?" 

"Right now." He scooted closer to the younger, "Just thought it fits." 

"Then you are my prince?" 

"If you want me to be, then yeah, I am your prince." He snuggled up on the young man next to him, his fingertips caressing the latter's stomach before moving up to his cheek. "Please stay with me" he whispered. 

"Always." Himchan looked Yongguk in the eyes and smiled, before gathering his courage and leaned in until their lips touched. Yongguk immediately responded, softly kissing him back, his hand taking Himchan's. He had finally found the person he could trust enough to start again and he never wanted to let him go.


	12. JongLo - Secrets

"Come on, it's gonna be fun. It's not what you understand as a party. I would be really happy if you came." 

Jongup sighed. "Fine. But only because its you, Jae. Where is it?" 

"It's at my friend's place, I'll text you the address." 

"Mh... Why isn't it at our place tho? It's your birthday after all..." 

"Because we can't have loud music and twenty people at our small apartment, while Junhong lives in a house with a big garden. Now stop being so grumpy! You can't stay at home with your Anime and games your whole life, you need a bit of fun with other people. See you here at eight or I will come home and drag you here." 

Youngjae hung up and Jongup also put down his phone. Great. So he would go to a party tonight with only one person there he knew. Why did Youngjae always manage to convince him of leaving the house? 

Two hours later, he arrived at the address Youngjae had texted him. His cousin was already waiting at the gate that lead to the garden of the house. It was a cold night and the darkness had already taken over, but there was a campfire in the garden. Jongup could see quite a few people sitting around it, the music could clearly be heard. 

"Never knew you were into punk rock" he said as they made their way through the garden towards the others. 

Youngjae shrugged. "This song was Junhong's choice. I don't have a problem with it though." 

"Yeah me neither, I just never really listened to punk rock." 

"Then tonight will be a whole new experience for you." 

They had reached the campfire and Youngjae told him to sit down next to a young, tall guy with pink hair. He wore a leather jacket with patches, pins and chains and had black painted nails. 

"Hi, I'm Junhong, but call me Zelo if you want. You must be Jae's cousin?" the tall guy grinned and handed him a beer. 

"Yes, I am. My name is Jongup, nice to meet you." 

A few hours later, the two were still sitting next to each other, just a little more drunk than before. Jongup had never been into alcohol that much, and it seemed to him that Junhong had quite a high tolerance, since the boy drank non-stop and still seemed to be in the right state of mind. 

They had been talking most of the time, but now there was a moment of silence, as Jongup was just staring at the dancing flames of the fire and Junhong was on his phone for what felt like the millionth time tonight. Then, a new song started playing. It had quite a fast beat and immediately, Junhong and a few other guys got up. 

Jongup watched them jump around to the music, screaming the lyrics, when Youngjae sat down next to him. 

"So" the older began, "Seems like you and Junhong are getting along pretty well, hm?" 

"Yeah, he's nice." 

Youngjae chuckled. "Dude, he's such a fun guy. And he must like you, usually he dances to at least half of the songs that were played." 

Jongup tried to hide the smile that appeared on his face after these words. He would not want to admit it, but he liked Junhong. The boy was not as close-minded as other people he met, he was super open and fun and he did not give a shit what others thought was good or bad, that much Jongup could tell although knowing him only a few hours. It was no lie, that Junhong fascinated him. 

Luckily, before Youngjae could make him talk more, the song ended and Junhong came back, sitting back down at Jongup's other side. He was breathing heavily and took off his jacket. "Ah, I can't resist this song." he grinned. "Jonguppie, you look cold. Take my jacket." 

Before the boy could answer, Junhong had already wrapped the jacket around his shoulders. 

"Uh... Thank you" Jongup stuttered, a bit surprised. He slipped his arms through the sleeves and wrapped the fabric closer around himself. The jacket smelled like beer, smoke and something he could not quite define, but he liked it. The cozy warmth made him a bit sleepy and he was glad that Youngjae started talking. 

"By the way Jongup, if you have any music requests, let me hear." 

"Oh, no I don't have any. I like the music right now." 

Junhong raised his head. "It's good right? This song is by my most favourite band. I own all of their albums and I've even seen them in concert last year." 

"They sound really good... I've never been into this type of music, but I think I'll listen to this band more from now on." 

Junhong grinned happily. "Cool! Hey, if you want I can show you my albums and some songs you might like." 

"Sure." 

"Great!" Junhong got up. "Come, let's go to my room. It's starting to rain anyways." 

"Have fun" Jongup heard Youngjae laugh, as they left the fireplace and shot him a glare. 

They entered the house and went to Junhong's room, where they sat down on the bed. The room was nicely warm and Jongup took off the jacket and his sweater, so he was left in the black tank top he wore. For a moment, he felt like Junhong was checking out his arms, but he must have been wrong because a moment later, the boy started talking about the band again. 

After a while, Junhong had just put on a CD, his phone buzzed and the boy groaned. He took the device and opened a chat with someone named "Fucker". 

"Dude, I told you ten thousand times to leave me alone! Stay the fuck out of my life! Stop texting when its not about school!" he said into the phone's mic before sending the voice message. Then, he turned his phone off and closed his eyes, sighing. "Sorry Jongup." 

"It's fine tho... who was that?" 

The pink-haired boy opened his eyes and shook his head. "My ex. He doesn't understand I don't want assholes like him in my life, but I can't block him because we're in the same class and my teacher keeps putting us together for projects." 

"Sounds super annoying... What did he do that you call him an asshole now?" 

"He manipulated me and tried to change me into his little obedient boy who doesn't think for himself. But no, I'm nobody's dog. So I broke up. I hate when people think that, just because they're older, they have the right to tell you what to think and do. I might be young, but I'm not stupid." 

"Wow, what the hell? And why is he still contacting you?" 

"He keeps trying to change me, he thinks if he's just manipulating me enough, with telling me I will never find someone new and stay alone forever when I don't come back to him, I will eventually give in. But nope, no chance. I'd rather stay alone forever than going back to this guy." 

"He seems so stupid. Such people really annoy me, it's good you broke up with him. But how old are you that you say you're young?" 

"I'm seventeen, when we were together I was still sixteen. What about you?" 

"I'm eighteen. Only a year older than you, so you're not that young to me." 

Junhong chuckled. "Sweet. Okay, so let me show you my favourite song now. That's what I originally wanted to do." 

He put on a song from the CD. It wasn't fast, more like a ballad, what surprised Jongup. 

"What do you think?" Junhong asked, he clearly was a bit calmer now, smiling softly. 

"I like it" Jongup said, "It's really good..." 

"I can send you the song if you want." Junhong said while putting the rest of the albums back onto their shelf. Then, he lied down on his back. 

"That would be nice, thanks." Jongup lied down next to him and they remained silent until the song ended and the music from outside could be heard through the walls. 

Suddenly, the noise of thunder shot through the air, followed by a flash of lightning and another roll of loud thunder. Jongup jumped from the shock and they both started laughing. 

"Aww, don't be scared Jonguppie~" Junhong laughed and hugged him tightly, ruffling his hair, before looking him in the eyes. "I'll protect you." 

Jongup could not explain what was happening when he looked into the dark eyes of the boy. All he knew was that they were suddenly kissing. 

Junhong's warm hand moved underneath his tank top, holding him close and Jongup could not help but think how much he liked this. It felt like there were only the two of them, nothing else existed but the boy's lips on his and the soft touches on his skin. 

Jongup was pulled back into reality when the other party guests entered the house. They made so much noise, it sounded like a hundred people. He broke the kiss at the thought of Youngjae catching him here, kissing Junhong. 

However, the latter didn't seem to worry. "What's wrong? Don't mind them, they have probably already forgotten we're here." 

Jongup just nodded. He was still speechless at this whole situation, all he knew was he wanted more of this, so he leaned in to connect their lips again. 

... 

It was at ten the next morning, when Jongup woke up from the church bells on the other end of the street. He blinked a few times and looked around. Junhong was still lying next to him. The younger lied on his stomach, face nuzzled in the pillow, breathing calmly. The blanket only covered him up to his hips, so his bare back was free for Jongup to look at. 

There were a few long, red scratches on the boy's pale skin and Jongup felt his face heat up at the thought he had caused them. Last night had really been a new experience - a good one though, he had enjoyed it more than he thought he would, and the proof was on Junhong's back. 

Eventually, he got up from the bed to go to the bathroom. As he moved the blanket, he noticed Junhong was still fully naked and quickly covered the younger again, before he got into his pants and sweater and left the room. On his way through the hall, he passed the living room, where most of the other party guests were sleeping on the couch, carpet or blankets on the floor. He discovered his cousin lying in front of the sofa, still sound asleep. 

After using the bathroom, he went to the kitchen, because he had heard a voice from the room. In the kitchen he found two of the others - Himchan and Daehyun, also one of Youngjae's best friends. From Junhong he knew Daehyun also lived here. They were step brothers. On the floor in the corner lied another person, sleeping. Himchan and Daehyun did not seem to care that someone was still asleep, they were talking in a rather loud volume. 

"Morning Jongup" Daehyun grinned. He was in the process of rolling a joint. "How did you sleep? Did Zelo let you sleep in his bed?" 

"Yeah he did, I slept pretty good." The younger took a seat on one of the kitchen chairs, watching how Daehyun took the joint between his lips. 

"You lucky bastard" Himchan then said to Jongup, "You know where I slept? On the floor in the hallway. Two people stumbled over me when they went to the bathroom last night. My ribs still hurt..." 

Daehyun laughed and offered his friend the joint. "Here, that helps with the pain." 

Himchan just looked at the weed in disgust. "Take this stuff away from me, you know I puke when I smoke that. I'd rather be in pain." 

"Give it to me then." A voice at the door said and Junhong entered the room, grinning. He wore boxers and a tank top, which Jongup was very thankful for. "Morning guys. Channie, hand me those cookies next to you." 

The older did as he was told and gave Junhong a smirk. "How are you hungry already? You never eat after getting up." 

"I'm not hungry, but I will be in a bit. Dae, may I?" He took the joint and put it between his lips in the corner of his mouth, before he noticed the still sleeping party guest in the corner of the room. "How can Bbang still sleep with Daehyun the noise machine next to him? I envy this guy." 

"Hey, what did you just call me? Watch your mouth before I put duct tape over it, Mister." Daehyun grinned and lightly kicked the boy's butt. 

"Yeah yeah. Jongup, let's go back to bed." He wanted to leave, but Daehyun grabbed his arm. "Wait, you can't just leave with my joint. That's not fair." 

Junhong removed the older's hand. "You made it from my weed anyways. But okay, you can have one more smoke. Just one, I need some for myself." 

Half a minute later, Jongup followed him back to his room, where Junhong flopped onto the bed. "So, did you sleep well?" 

Jongup sat down on the blanket. "Yeah, what about you?" 

"Very good." The younger closed his eyes and slowly let out the smoke. "Jonguppie... I wanna start dating you... I think the two of us fit together quite well..." 

"Oh, really? I... I would like to date you as well..." 

Junhong looked at him, smiling. "Cool! You live with Youngjae, right?" 

"Um... Yeah, but I don't think it would be good if we met there..." 

"Why not? I've never been at Youngjae's place though..." 

"Um... I don't want him to know there's something going on between us..." 

Junhong sat up. "Oh... Are you not out to him?" 

The older shook his head. "I'm not out to anyone, actually..." 

"I see. And do you plan to tell him? I mean, maybe you should, now that we're dating. Or we just do what we do and when he sees he knows, whatever you prefer." 

"Um.. I would probably feel uncomfortable showing it when he doesn't know..." 

"Alright, then we won't let him know until you told him." 

... 

Two weeks later, they had agreed to meet at Jongup's apartment for the first time, since Youngjae was not home that evening. The past two weeks, they had met a few times, in the town or at Junhong's house. Admittedly, most of those days had ended in the younger's bed. 

When Junhong arrived, Jongup was nervous. He still had not told Youngjae, but he had managed to convince his cousin to text him before he came home. What was more worrying was the fact, that Junhong was not happy about the fact that Jongup was still hiding it and Jongup was scared the younger would tell Youngjae about it. 

"Hey baby" the younger grinned as he came up the last steps. He hugged the older, who stood in the doorway to the apartment before pecking his cheek. No kisses in open spaces. That was one of the rules Jongup had made to keep it secret. What if one of their friends or neighbors saw and told Youngjae? 

Junhong quickly closed the apartment door, so he could kiss him properly. "How's your day been?" 

"It was alright, mostly school and cleaning my room. What about you?" 

They went to Jongup's room and sat down on the bed. "Ah... school sucked a bit today..." Junhong mumbled. "My ex tried it again... I am so sick of him... he started following me after school and it was hard getting rid of him..." 

"Hell, that guy is sick... I swear if he keeps doing that I'll start picking you up from school every day" Jongup said and went to turn on his computer. 

They spent the afternoon cuddling, while watching horror movies. After a while, Junhong sighed, paused the movie and looked at him. "Jongup... I'm sorry but we have to talk..." 

The older bit his lip. He knew what this would be about. 

"How do you imagine our future when you keep hiding yourself? Why do you care so much what people think? How are we supposed to be in a good relationship when we always have to make sure nobody sees? I want to tell people about you, I want to tell them about my boyfriend and how adorable he is and how happy he makes me, but I can't... I can't even tell Daehyun although he has already asked me if there's something going on between us. I had to lie to my brother, I've never done this before and it feels so bad..." 

Jongup looked to the floor. He didn't know what to say, but he knew Junhong wanted to hear an answer. Luckily, in that moment, his phone buzzed. 

"You have to leave now" Jongup said quietly after checking the message. 

Junhong sighed. "Because Youngjae will be home soon?" 

Jongup nodded. "Yes... I still have to clean up..." 

"Fine..." the younger got up. "At least promise me you will think about what I said." 

"I will." 

"Thank you. Bring me to the door?" 

Jongup nodded and got up. They went to the front door, where Junhong put his shoes on. Then, they hugged. 

"I love you" the younger whispered, "And I want to show everyone what an amazing boyfriend I have..." 

Jongup smiled lightly. "I love you too." 

They stood there a bit longer, until the sudden noise of a key in the doorlock startled the older and he immediately let go. Seconds later, Youngjae came in. 

"Oh, hi Zelo. What are you doing here?" 

Before the boy could answer, Jongup cleared his throat and smiled. "He came a while ago to visit you, but you weren't here, so we hung out a bit. He was just about to leave..." 

Junhong looked him in the eyes for a second and Jongup could feel something clench in his chest at the expression in the boy's eyes, before the latter turned around and walked to the door. "Yeah. I should get going now, Daehyun is waiting for me. See you guys." 

Youngjae grinned. "There he goes. You know, it's weird he came because he knew I'm not home today... maybe he came because of you, Uppie." 

"Huh? What are you talking about?" The younger acted surprised but turned around and went towards the living room, so he did not have to look his cousin in the eyes. 

Youngjae followed him. "Well, maybe he's into you. Why aren't you two dating?" The older laughed. 

"Very funny. I'm not gay, Youngjae, so shut up with this bullshit." Jongup said, almost a bit too loudly, before going back to his room. Although acting angry, he felt bad after saying this sentence. 

He wanted to be with Junhong, really, but he could not tell Youngjae. His cousin always made jokes like that one and Jongup was sure that Youngjae would laugh at him if he found out Jongup was gay. He would make fun of him and maybe even kick him out, depending of how much he disliked gays, and then Jongup would be homeless. Youngjae was the last family member he had left, he could not lose him. 

... 

A few days later, they went over to Junhong's place, since Daehyun had invited Youngjae and Jongup for barbecue. The four of them sat in the garden until late at night, talking about this and that. It was a very relaxed mood and Jongup felt a bit frustrated after a while. He was in the mood for cuddles, but he could not get them because Youngjae and Daehyun were here with them. So he got up and looked at Junhong. "Zelo, before I forget it, I wanted to ask if I could borrow a DVD from you." 

The younger nodded. "Sure. Come, I'll give you what you want." 

Youngjae made an "Ooooh"-Sound, but Jongup tried to ignore it, as they went inside. 

In the hallway in front of Junhong's room, they stopped. 

"So, I guess you don't really want a DVD from me." The younger said. 

"Yeah... I just wanted a bit of private time with you... Away from the others..." 

Junhong sighed. "Jongup, this has to stop... I don't want to hide anymore..." 

"I know... I'm sorry, I just... You know, he always makes these jokes and that makes me so insecure..." 

The taller boy smiled and put a finger on the older's lips. "Stop talking, we can't stay here forever" he said and kissed him. 

Jongup closed his eyes and let himself go into the loving contact. 

Then, there were these steps on the staircase behind them and from one second to the other, his brain switched into panic mode. 

"What the hell are you doing??" he shouted, pushing Junhong away. "You can't just kiss me! What's your problem?" 

"Wow, what's going on here?" Daehyun, who had just came up the stairs, asked in confusion. 

"Ask you brother, he just kissed me like it's nothing. Dude, I am not gay!" 

With that, he stormed down the stairs and left. 

"Wait... what?" Daehyun asked. "Did you really kiss him? I didn't see anything, I was only halfway up the stairs when I heard him..." 

Junhong shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Why did you come in though?" 

"I just wanted to get myself a jacket, it's getting quite freezy." 

"Okay. I have to use the bathroom, see you outside. Oh, and... don't tell Youngjae about what just happened, okay?" 

"Of course not. See you outside then." 

Daehyun went to his room and Junhong hurried to the bathroom, locking the door. Then his legs gave up and he sank to the floor, crying. His chest felt like somebody had rammed a knife right through his heart, he felt like he could not breathe. 

Twenty minutes later, he had forced himself to calm down and made himself somehow presentable to go back to the other two. 

"Where's Jongup?" Youngjae asked, when Junhong sat down on his chair. 

"He didn't feel so good. He went home." 

To be continued...


	13. JongLo - Secrets pt. 2

Jongup had barely slept that night. His head ached and his eyes were burning. He had cried so much, he just wanted to turn back time. 

It was almost eleven when he forced himself out of the bed and walked to the kitchen, where he found Youngjae. 

"Wow, you look like shit... How do you feel? Junhong told us you didn't feel good last night..." the older asked and gave him a cup of coffee. 

"Oh... Yeah I feel a bit better" Jongup mumbled. He had expected Junhong to tell the other two everything, but as it seemed, the younger still kept it to himself. This made Jongup feel even worse about what he did. He regretted it so much and he knew he had to talk to Junhong right now. 

He thanked Youngjae for the coffee, took the cup and went to his room, where he grabbed his phone. 

Jongup:  
Junhong... I'm sorry

Zelo:   
You really think "I'm sorry" will make it better? 

Jongup:   
I know it was stupid... I wish I could turn back time, I am so sorry

Zelo:   
Leave me alone, Jongup. I don't want a boyfriend who keeps hiding me because he's too dependent on other's opinions. 

Jongup:   
Junhong, please... it's not that... I don't want to hide anymore 

Zelo:   
You should have decided on that before hurting me like that. 

Jongup:   
I'm sorry, please give me a chance. I will do better, I promise 

Zelo:   
It's too late, Jongup. Accept that you fucked up and leave me alone. 

Jongup dropped his phone and lied down on his bed, hiding his face in the pillow. What had he done? 

... 

For about a week, Junhong did not talk to him. Jongup texted him again and again, but the younger had even blocked him. 

It was Friday and Jongup came home from school. Entering the apartment, he heard Junhong's voice from the living room. Instantly, he felt the pain in his chest again. He took a deep breath and then went to the living room, where he found Youngjae and Junhong on the couch, playing video games. 

"Hi Uppie" Youngjae said, "How was your test?" 

The younger shrugged. "It was okay I guess." He carefully looked at Junhong. The boy was ignoring him completely, staring at the TV screen. 

"Do you wanna play with us?" Youngjae asked and offered him the third controller, but Jongup shook his head. 

"I have to do homework." 

"Wow, when did you start doing your homework?" Youngjae grinned. 

Jongup shrugged and went to his room. Of course he had not planned to do his homework, he just did not think Junhong would want him there. Jongup put his headphones in, started the music and lied down on his bed, closing his eyes. 

It did not take long until he had fallen asleep. When he woke up, it was already getting dark. He went to the kitchen, where he found Youngjae. 

"Did Zelo leave?" 

The older nodded. "Yeah, he has an appointment I think." 

The younger took a seat next to him and sighed. "Youngjae... I have to talk to you." 

"Okay, what is it?" 

Jongup thought for a bit. He was really scared about telling him, but it had to be. Junhong was right, he should not care what others thought. He should not hide his true self.   
"It's a bit hard for me to talk about this... Um..." he cleared his throat. "It's that... that... I'm gay." 

Jongup expected everything. He expected Youngjae to laugh, to get mad at him, to freak out completely or kick him out - but none of those happened. 

"Okay." the older just said, smiling. 

Confused, Jongup looked at him. "Okay? What do you mean?" 

Youngjae shrugged. "Well, I'm not that surprised to be honest." 

"Huh? Why?" 

The older giggled. "Well... I didn't plan to tell you, but... the night at the party... You guys were pretty loud." 

Jongup stared at him for a few seconds. Then, the realisation hit him and he felt his cheeks getting red. "Oh my god..." he mumbled, hiding his face with his hands. 

"No need to be embarrassed tho. Zelo doesn't know either that I heard it and I don't think anyone else did, they were all super drunk. But anyways..." His look got more serious. "You and him. What happened?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Do you think I didn't notice the weird vibes between you two earlier? He didn't even look at you and you seem super done recently. Just like he doesn't want to hang out since we were there for the barbecue. So what the hell happened? I felt like you two were a thing before that day." 

Jongup told him everything. When he reached the point that had ruined everything, he felt the first tears run down his cheeks and when he was done talking, he was already a sobbing mess. 

"Shit... that's gonna be hard to fix..." Youngjae mumbled and hugged the younger. "But we will try, okay? I feel like this is also my fault for a certain part." 

"Why would it be?" 

"Because I made these stupid jokes which made you feel so insecure that you couldn't tell me." He sighed and look his cousin in the eyes. "We will try to get him back okay? I'm there for you." 

... 

Youngjae had told him where Junhong's school was and so it came that, three days later, Jongup was waiting at the gate to the school yard. 

He was nervous, because there for sure would be many people, but this was the only way to talk to the younger because he would not expect him to be here.   
The bell rang and two minutes later, the first students left the building.

At first, he didn't see Junhong. Instead, there suddenly was Daehyun standing next to him.

"Hey Jongup" he said, "What are you doing here?" 

"I wanted to talk to Zelo." 

"Ah, I see. I'm here to pick him up, because his ex keeps stalking him when he goes home after school. Hey, do you wanna come home with us?" 

"If Zelo is okay with it..." he mumbled, as he saw the younger walking towards them. A few meters behind him, there was another student. His eyes were fixed on Junhong and Jongup could feel the anger boiling up inside of him. He knew that guy was Junhong's ex, the younger had shown him a picture of him. 

"Hey Dae, thanks for coming." The boy sighed. "He's been after me the whole day... I really start thinking if i should change schools." Junhong shot his ex a glare, then he looked at Jongup. "Oh... Hey. What are you doing here?" 

"I want to talk to you. It's important." he said, trying to look Junhong in the eyes. The younger looked to the ground. 

"Okay. Let's go home, then we can talk." 

Daehyun was the only one who talked on their way to the boy's home. Luckily, it wasn't far to the house. When they entered the hallway, Jongup heard loud voices from upstairs and Daehyun sighed. "Just ignore them, Jongup" he said. 

Daehyun disappeared to the kitchen, where he tried to stop the fight between his parents, while Jongup followed Junhong to his room. 

"What do you want?" the younger asked, as they had sat down. 

Jongup cleared his throat. "I want to apologise once again. I understand you are mad at me, I would even understand if you could never forgive me, but I want to ask you to give me one more chance. I know I hurt you and I hate myself for that... I promise it will never happen again... Please Junhong, I need you in my life. You made me so happy and I feel like the biggest asshole for ruin it... I miss you so much..."

Junhong shook his head lightly. "Thank you for your apology, but I really don't know if I can do this. You hurt me so much and I started thinking that maybe the whole thing with us was a mistake... I need someone I can rely on and I can trust fully, you know... And I don't think you can give me that... I thought I knew you and that's why I accepted to keep it secret, because I had the feeling you would never hurt me but now I don't feel like I know you at all anymore."

He was cut off by the sound of a door being slammed outside and he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to hold back the tears. Then, he looked back at Jongup. He really loved this guy, and he wished he could be with him like before, but he could not handle another heartbreak. There was already so much bad shit in his life and he needed someone he could feel free with.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, "please leave now."

Jongup nodded and walked to the door, where he turned around one more time. "Junhong... Can we at least.... Be friends?"

The younger looked up and gave him a sad smile. "We can try."

To be continued.... (Again)


	14. JongLo - Secrets pt. 3

"Jonguppie, come right here!" 

Jongup closed the front door behind himself and followed his cousin's voice. He had only just came home from school and he just wanted to rest, so hopefully Youngjae would not hold him back for too long. 

"Yeah?" he mumbled as he reached the living room, where he found the older, who gestured for him to sit down. 

"I found something here. You and Zelo, you like this band, Rise Against, right?" 

Jongup nodded. "Yeah, its his favourite band. Why?" 

Youngjae pointed at the screen of his laptop. "See, they're having a concert here next week. There are only a few tickets left, I thought maybe you would like to go there with Zelo?" 

Jongup ran a hand through his hair. "I'd love to, but do you think he will go with me?" 

"Well, first of all I don't think he will say no to a concert of his favourite band. And you said you had a talk with him and you're okay with each other, so I don't see a reason to worry." 

Jongup nodded. "Okay, I will ask him. Can I use your computer for buying the tickets?" 

... 

Jongup was nervous, when he left the bus. He was about to meet Junhong, to ask him about the concert. He had not wanted to do this with a message, he wanted to see the boy in person. 

As he approached the spot in the park where Junhong usually would hang out, he already saw the tall boy sitting on a bench. He was not alone, though. In front of him stood another guy of his age and Jongup took a deep breath when he recognised Zelo's ex. 

"Don't you see it's pointless for you? You will never find someone. I am the only one for you, the only one who will ever love you, don't you understand?" 

Junhong, who was obviously annoyed, had his eyes closed, trying to ignore him - until he felt the other's hand on his shoulder. He got up and pushed him away. "Take your hands off! I am so pissed off by you with your stalking and shit, you're lucky I already have records at the police because otherwise I'd make you stay away from me, asshole!" 

"But Junhong, I am the only one for you! You are my soulmate, I need you and I know that you also need me-" 

Junhong was about to yell back at his stalker, when he suddenly felt and arm around his shoulders. 

"Dude, he for sure doesn't need you. Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend or something really bad will happen." Jongup said, a cold look on his face. 

The other was clearly surprised and finally stopped talking. He seemed speechless and just stared at the two of them for a moment, before Jongup could not take it anymore. 

"I said fuck off or do I have to make go?" 

"N-No, I- Sorry." he stuttered after a quick look at Jongup's muscles and left. 

Junhong let out a deep breath. "Oh my god... you're my savior. He's been after me all day again...." He sat back down on the bench and Jongup took a seat next to him. "What are you doing here though?" 

The older cleared his throat. "I came because... Well... Rise Against have a concert here next week and I got two of the last tickets and I want to ask you to go there with me." 

Zelo looked at him in surprise, then started smiling. "Of course! Dude, you have no idea how sad I was because I had no money for a ticket, and now you invite me to go to the concert... This is amazing!" He grinned and hugged Jongup tightly for a moment. 

This short moment of closeness brought the emotions back up in the older and he had to close his eyes for a second to stop himself from breaking out in tears. He missed this so much... 

Junhong as well felt the weird pain creep back up in his chest and quickly pulled back. What Jongup had said to his ex had surprised him, never would he have expected the older to talk about him as his boyfriend that easily, and suddenly he felt like it had been a mistake to not give Jongup a second chance. He could feel that the other was way more at ease about being with him in public and he really liked it. How could he not? This was exactly what he had always wanted. But he said nothing about it, he had to stick to his words from before. He could not give him another chance. 

... 

The day of the concert had came and Jongup was lying in the couch in the living room, his face hidden in a pillow, while Youngjae sat next to him, trying to calm the nervous boy down. 

"Jongup, what are you so afraid of? You're just going to a concert with him, it's the most normal thing ever." 

"Jae, you don't get it... It's because I still love him so much and I'm scared to mess something up, I really want this to be a great night, but what if I can't hold back the feelings?" 

Youngjae did not get to answer, as the doorbell rang. He got up and opened the front door. "Hi Zelo. Jongup is almost done." 

"Alright. By the way, thanks you for paying the hotel for us. I'd die if I had to get back home in the middle of the night." 

Youngjae chuckled. "Yeah, I thought so." 

"Hey Zelo" Jongup said as he joined them in the hallway. The moment he saw the younger, he knew it would be hard tonight to hold himself back. The boy wore tight, ripped jeans, a leather jacket of which he had cut the sleeves off, decorated with pins and patches, some leather bracelets and a black collar with pins. His hair was styled up and he wore eyeliner, defining his dark eyes even more. 

If they were still a couple, Jongup would have lost his self-control right there and then, but he had to restrain himself. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Youngjae. "Jae, will you drive us to the train station? I'm worried we may miss the train." 

... 

The concert was about halfway over when the band started playing a slower song and Jongup immediately recognized the first notes. It was their song. The song Junhong had shown him on their first night, the song they had been listening to all the time when they were together. Jongup had barely been able to listen to it after his huge mistake, it was giving him too much heartache. 

He looked at Junhong, who stood next to him - they had somehow made it to the very first row - and noticed the boy had tears in his eyes as well. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around Junhong, pulling him into a soft hug. After a second, the younger returned the hug and Jongup felt the boy's hand shake a bit as it ran through his hair. 

Junhong moved and Jongup thought he was about to break the hug, but he just leaned down to Jongup's ear and despite the loud music, Jongup understood what the younger said. 

"I forgive you." 

Surprised by these words, Jongup looked the boy in the eyes and saw him smile. Grinning, he hugged him again, tighter this time. It was such a relieving feeling that the weird tension between them was gone. 

... 

"Shit I'm so tired" Jongup groaned when they entered their hotel room around one that night. The walk from the concert hall to the hotel had been longer than expected and his legs felt dead, so he flopped down on the bed. 

Junhong, who was taking off his shoes, laughed. "You know you won't be able to get up once you've lied down?" 

"Mhm" Jongup mumbled, "Fuck it. I'll just stay in this bed forever." 

Junhong smiled, lying down next to him. "Thank you for tonight, Jongup. It was amazing, thank you so much for taking me to this concert." 

"You're welcome. It was so much fun, this was the best day of my life." He yawned and closed his eyes. He did not intend to fall asleep, but after a little while, he was already deep in dreamland. 

Junhong lied awake for a bit longer, just looking at the older, before he got up to switch off the lights. Crawling underneath the blanket, he also covered Jongup with it. Then, he took off his own pants and shirt before trying to sleep himself. 

After a while, Jongup woke up from something moving around him and he realized there was a hand on his stomach, softly caressing his skin. 

"Zelo?" he mumbled, looking at the silhouette of the younger next to him. 

"Shh" the latter breathed. "Sorry, didn't want to wake you up." 

"It's okay... Why don't you sleep though?" 

Junhong sighed. "I can't... I can't stop thinking about stuff..." He scooted a bit closer to Jongup, wrapping his arm around the older's waist. 

"Thinking about what? Do you want to talk about it?" 

The younger shook his head. "I don't know... I just..." he took a deep breath. "Fuck, I can't handle this" he said and leaned over, kissing Jongup. 

"Do you still want me back?" he asked as they had broken the kiss. 

"That's all I ever wanted" Jongup whispered. "If you will give me a second chance, I will prove you how much you mean to me. I will never hurt you again." 

"Then I'm yours." Junhong said and leaned in again. 

"Thank you..." Jongup closed his eyes and lied his head back, while Junhong moved down to his neck, softly kissing his skin. 

The younger's hands pulled up his T-shirt and ran all over his body, while his lips worked on Jongup's neck. 

"I want you so bad right now baby" he whispered and pulled the shirt off of Jongup's body. "Are you in?" 

"Why are you even asking?" The older moaned as Junhong's lips attached to his collar bone, leaving a hickey there. "Of course I am." 

... 

Jongup woke up the next morning, seeing Junhong in the middle of the room, putting on his clothes from the day before. He grinned and sat up. 

"Finally I can tell you that you look so hot like this" he said, making the younger turn around, smiling. 

"Thanks, baby." he crawled on the bed, over to Jongup, where he knelt down. "I love you." 

"I love you too." Jongup responded and they kissed for a short moment, until the older's phone buzzed and a new message popped up. 

"Jae says he can't pick us up from the station but Daehyun will do that instead." 

"Oh, alright." Junhong said, "Then at least we can chill at my place. If you want to of course." 

"Sure, I'd love to. You have no idea how much I've missed you..." 

"Oh, I think I do. Although I was super mad at you, I still missed you like hell. If I hadn't, i would have never given you another chance, because I usually don't do that, but with you I just felt like I would regret if I didn't..." 

"Well, I'm glad you did. I'll do better from now on, I promise." He kissed the boy's cheek. "You make me so happy..." 

An hour later they left the hotel and made their way to the train station. After a few meters, Jongup glanced over to Junhong, who was walking next to him. The younger had his bag in the right hand, his left one - the one on Jongup's side - was free.

Carefully, Jongup reached out and took the boy's hand with his own. Junhong looked at him in surprise and smiled, not saying a word, but Jongup knew this had made the younger happy. He probably had not expected Jongup to do this in public, but the older wanted to show him that he was not afraid of it anymore.

The train ride was silent most of the time, since both of them were still pretty tired, Jongup spent it mostly leaned against Junhong, sleeping. Junhong could not sleep though, he kept looking at his boyfriend, finally feeling like the hole in his chest had disappeared. He laid his hand on the older's thigh, slowly caressing it with his thumb.

Finally, it seemed like Jongup was in peace about all this. But would he also be comfortable around people he knew?

...

"Hey boys, how was the concert?" Daehyun greeted them as they got into his car.

"It was amazing!" Junhong said, "The best night of my life."

His brother chuckled. "That's great. Jongup, should I take you home or to our place?"

"I'll come with you if you don't mind."

"Of course not."

Arriving at their home, Junhong immediately dragged Jongup to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"I'm starving!"

"I have some scrambled egg left from breakfast, you can have it but I'm afraid it's not enough for two... Jongup, what do you want to eat?"

"Oh, I don't need anything, thanks. I had a sandwich earlier."

Zelo, who had already gotten the plate of scrambled egg, frowned.

"But I feel bad if you don't eat anything" he said and put a bit of the egg on a spoon. "Eat."

Jongup laughed as the younger shoved the spoon in his face, and opened his mouth, eating the egg. "Are you happy now?"

Junhong nodded with a satisfied smile. "Now I don't feel bad anymore."

"God you two are so cheesy.... You'd make such a good couple." Daehyun said and left the kitchen.

The two looked at each other and Jongup chuckled. "If he knew..."

"He probably will know sooner or later." said Junhong and took a bite of the egg.

Jongup nodded. "Are you gonna tell him?"

"No, I'm not the person to go and tell people. If they notice, they notice. But if you wanna tell him, I won't hold you back."

Jongup shook his head. "Nah, I think your way of handling it is pretty good. Let's just do it this way."

Junhong smiled and put his now empty plate at the sink. "What about Youngjae?"

"He knows anyways that I'm gay. But I bet he'll want to know how this weekend went."

"Oh? You told him?"

"Yeah, a while ago."

Junhong sat on the kitchen table, looking at the other in excitement. "How did he react?"

"Well" Jongup cleared his throat, "It turned out he already knew... Also he knew about us, because... Because he heard us the night at the party."

The younger jumped off the table and laughed, hugging his boyfriend. "Ow, well that's a plot-twist." 

"Wow, how can you be so chill about the fact that he heard us fuck? I was so embarrassed when he told me..." Jongup mumbled and looked down.

"Aw, you're adorable..." Zelo kissed him on the cheek, then he yawned. "Tiredness is coming back... I need to catch some Zzz's, what about you?"

"Me too. Didn't get too much sleep last night, thanks to you." He playfully hit the boy's arm.

They went to Junhong's room, undressed down to their underwear and lied down, tightly hugging each other. Minutes later, they were already asleep.

It was in the late afternoon, when they were woken up by a door slamming shut.

"IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR SON DECIDED TO BECOME A PUNK" a female voice yelled, "I RAISED DAEHYUN RIGHT, HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING WRONG, YOU ARE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE THAT JUNHONG IS MESSED UP!"

"OH YEAH? WHO ALLOWED HIM TO LISTEN TO ROCK-BANDS? THAT WAS YOU! BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE THE THE GUTS TO TELL A CHILD WHAT'S RIGHT OR WRONG! YOU MESSED UP MY SON, HE'S RUINING HIS WHOLE LIFE BECAUSE OF YOU!" a man shouted back.

"YOU BROUGHT HIM INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM AWAY, I NEVER WANTED ANOTHER KID!"

"DO YOU THINK I WANTED HIM? JUNHONG WAS AN ACCIDENT, BECAUSE OF HIM MY LAST MARRIAGE ENDED! AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME ITS MY FAULT?"

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!" Suddenly, Daehyun's voice was there, followed by a door closing, and the voices disappeared.

Jongup opened his eyes and saw Zelo hiding his face in the pillow. His fists clenched the fabric of the sheets tightly, his whole body was shaking. Then, the boy sobbed. He clearly tried to stay quiet, he didn't want Jongup to notice that he was crying, but the older had already scooted closer to him.

"Junhong..." he whispered, "its okay..."

The younger shook his head and kept crying into the pillow. Jongup sighed softly and let his hand caress Junhong's back.

"Look at me... Please, baby..." he made another attempt, and eventually, Zelo turned around, avoiding to look him in the eyes.

Immediately, Jongup wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, holding him tightly to his chest while the boy could not hold it back anymore.

Jongup closed his eyes and kept stroking his back and the messy, blonde hair, while whispering comforting things to make the younger calm down.

It was a situation they had never been in before - Jongup holding the other. Usually, it would be the other way around since Junhong was the more dominant and confident one, but right now, all this didn't matter.

"It's always because of me" the boy then mumbled, when he managed to form words. "All the fights are because of me... They don't want me, they never did... When my mom... Dad's ex wife... Found out about the pregnancy, she wanted to have an abortion... But it was too late... So she had to get me... And then left dad alone with me because she didn't want me... The only reason he didn't give me away was because his mother told him, if he did she would disown him, but he always hated me because mom left him... And now my step mom hates me too for being the way I am..." he sobbed again and tightened the grip on Jongup's shoulders. In that moment, it knocked on the door and Daehyun came in, looking angry but worried.

"Hey... Sorry you had to hear that, Jongup. It's pretty complicated lately." He sat down next to them and softly touched his brother's arm. "Junnie, you know they don't mean it, right?"

Eventually, the younger sat up and wiped the tears off his face. "Of course they do. It's always the same, they go through this at least once a week and they know I can hear it. They mean every single word. They don't want me and that's the truth."

Daehyun sighed and hugged him for a moment. "But I do. You're my brother and I love you and I could not wish for a better brother ever. They don't see what an amazing son they have."

The blonde took a shaky breath. "Thank you, Dae..." He carefully took Jongup's hand. "Let's go somewhere else... I need to get out of here for a while."

...

It had started to rain, so the two had went to Jongup's place, where they now sat in the living room, playing video games. 

After a while, Junhong dropped the controller onto the sofa and closed his eyes. "Jonguppie... i can't stop thinking about earlier... About my parents..." he sighed. "What's wrong with me that they don't love me? At least dad... I'm his son but he treats me like... I don't know... Why is it my fault that they had me?" 

Jongup leaned his head against the younger's shoulder and took his hand. "It's not your fault. I don't know what's going on in your father's head but he acts totally stupid. I would be the happiest dad ever if I had a son like you. You're so precious, Junnie and I want you to always remember that. Even if they don't love you, Dae does and I do, too. And I am happy that you exist." He leaned in for a kiss, just when they heard the front door. 

"Oh my god" Youngjae said when he entered the room and saw the scene. "You two are the most adorable couple I've ever seen." 

"Thanks, Jae." Junhong giggled, when he pulled back. 

Jongup's cheeks were a bit red, but he smiled and glanced over to Junhong. The boy looked super happy, unlike a few minutes ago when he had the problems with his parents in mind and Jongup was happy that he changed that. 

"So, did you tell Dae about this?" Youngjae then asked and sat down next to them. 

"I don't think so" Junhong said, "But who knows. I didn't think you knew either." He laughed and Jongup groaned at the memory of Youngjae finding out about them. 

Youngjae grinned. "True. Talking about it, he texted me he wants you home, dinner is ready and as it seems you two weren't answering your phones." 

Zelo checked his phone and noticed three missed calls and several messages from his brother. "Oh, he's being annoying." he grinned. "I guess I'll get going then. See you tomorrow~" He kissed Jongup once again, then he left the apartment. 

When the front door closed, Youngjae looked at his cousin. "So, the weekend was a success I see. I'm really happy for you two~" 

Jongup smiled. "Yes... It was amazing, he forgave me and we made up and I'm so happy..." 

"That's great. So can I make my jokes from now on?" 

"Oh, Jae... Yes, make as many jokes as you like. It's fine." 

The older laughed and hugged him. "Thanks, Jonguppie. Oh, and by the way..." He smirked, "Dae knows about you guys. When he texted me to send Zelo home, he told me to 'be careful when I enter your room', because I might see things I don't wanna see." 

"God, what's wrong with you guys? Is that all you think we do?" 

The answer was a giggle. "Well, kind of?" 

"Oh, shut up." Jongup grumbled and hit the other. One second later, he found himself being tackled down on the couch by his cousin, who hugged him tightly. 

"But seriously, I am so happy for you. You seem really happy with him, that's amazing and I believe you two will have an amazing relationship. You really are an amazing couple." 

"Thank you, Jae. You're the best~" 

○


	15. JooKyun - Stuck

It was no lie that it had been awkward between Jooheon and Changkyun ever since the latter had come to Jooheon's class and then even was put into the same dorm room with him half a year ago.

In the beginning, Jooheon had tried to build up a friendship with his room mate, but after months of the younger ignoring and avoiding him, he had eventually given up. Though, he still could not understand what it was that Changkyun had against him. He had always been nice to the boy, he couldn't think of anything that might have had put the younger off, and he had tried to find out and asked him, but he only answer he had gotten was a glare and an annoyed sigh before Changkyun had left the room, slamming the door.

They only talked when it was necessary, although Jooheon still sometimes tried to start a conversation, but Changkyun barely ever answered.

Today had been a really exhausting day for both of them, since there had been the yearly sports festival at their school and the teachers had had fun chasing their students from playing soccer to running, basketball, tennis and other super tiring activities.

If it hadn't been such a hard day, Changkyun would never have joined Jooheon in taking the elevator to their floor - he always took the stairs so he didn't have to spend time with the older.

But today, they stood in the small space next to each other, none of them saying a word. Jooheon had his eyes closed, leaning against the wall. He just wanted to fall into his bed and sleep.

He felt the elevator stop and opened his eyes, ready to get out, but then the lights went off, leaving them in darkness.

"Oh come on" Jooheon mumbled. "Don't tell me this thing just got stuck." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and switched on the torch, looking through the different buttons at the wall. He pressed the one with the emergency sign on it, again and again, but nothing happened.

"Guess the power is gone." Changkyun mumbled and took his backpack off.

Jooheon nodded. "I hope this doesn't take too long though. I'm so tired." He sat down on the floor, putting his phone aside so the light spread through the small room.

For the next few minutes there was nothing but silence, until the older couldn't take it anymore.

"Changkyun?"

The younger looked at him. "Hm?"

"I know I already asked you once... But... Why don't you talk to me? What did I do to you?"

"God, can't you just accept that I don't like you? You're so annoying, Jooheon." Changkyun scoffed, before sitting down as well. His legs were too tired to stand any longer.

Jooheon looked at his feet. "I just don't understand why. I- It seems like we have the same interests and music taste and I can't remember doing anything to make you dislike me."

The other sighed deeply, not answering him. Instead, he took his phone and dialled the emergency phone number written on a sign. He had to get out of here, he had to get away from Jooheon or he would probably lose himself. But his hopes were destroyed as it turned out he had absolutely no connection in here.

"Why do you even care that I don't like you?" he then said to Jooheon, "After all everyone at school loves you. I'm obviously the only person who doesn't. Are you really that pathetic that you need everyone to like you?"

Jooheon shook his head and decided to stay quiet. Changkyun would probably never tell him what the hell he had done to him. His words hurt Jooheon, after all it was not his fault that everyone at school tried to get his attention. He hated this, he hated being in the focus of everyone, he wished they would leave him alone. And now, he hated it even more because as it seemed this was a reason that Changkyun disliked him. But he liked Changkyun, ever since they met for the first time he had felt the urge to get closer to this boy. He had been so happy when they were put into the same room, but this positivity had soon been destroyed when it turned out the younger didn't want any contact to him.

About half an hour went by in silence before a sudden sound startled them. After the first shock, Jooheon realized where it came from.

"Shit, my phone's battery is dead, its gonna -" Before he could finish his sentence, the device turned off and they were left in darkness once again. "Fuck..."

Jooheon leaned back and took a deep breath, trying not to panic. He hated darkness. He hated not being able to see what was going on around him.

"Ooh, are you afraid of the dark?" Changkyun asked in a mocking voice and for the first time, Jooheon felt angry at the younger.

"You know what Changkyun, fuck you. Yes, I am fucking scared but still I wish you had taken the stairs, I would rather be stuck in here alone than with an idiot like you. When we get out of here I'm going to ask the staff to move you to a different room because it's just getting too much with you."

Silence. It had been the first time Jooheon had shot back at the boy, and the latter was at a loss of words at this situation.

He heard the older take a shaky breath and realised that he had gone too far. He had not wanted this, he had never wanted to hurt Jooheon, and the last thing he wanted was moving out of their shared room.

"I'm sorry..." he said quietly. "I didn't mean it..."

"Oh, did you?"

It was obvious the older was crying and Changkyun felt his heart starting to ache. He had made him cry... He bit his lip and, for the first time, let himself go into the feeling he usually tried to ignore. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Jooheon, obviously surprising him, making him jump a little.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jooheon asked, trying to push him away, but Changkyun didn't let him go.

"Jooheon, I'm really sorry for what I said. Not just today, I'm sorry for everything I ever said or did to you... I never wanted to hurt you..."

"Yeah, sure. All this time I tried to be your friend, but you pushed me away, you ignored me, laughed at me and told me you hate me for absolutely no reason. And now, suddenly, you're sorry for all this? Do you really expect me to believe this, huh?" he tried to push Changkyun away again, and succeeded.

The younger sat back down in his previous spot. He had tears in his eyes now and wanted to wipe them away, but remembered Jooheon could not see it anyways, so he just let them run down his cheeks.

Jooheon as well was still crying. He wished what Chankyun had just said was true, all he wanted was to get closer to him, but he just could not believe him. Changkyun had never shown any affection to him, and now suddenly he told him sorry and he didn't mean it? This could not be true.

"I'm sorry." Changkyun started another try, "I can explain everything, it's just... I don't know how to word it."

"Just try. If you really mean it, try to explain it to me."

The younger nodded. "It's a bit complicated... Um... It started when I came to your class... I liked you from the first day on, your smile, your eyes, your voice... I had a crush on you right when I saw you. But... I noticed how everyone at school loves you... And I realized you could have anyone, anyone you wanted and in that case I'd never have a chance... So I tried to stay away from you, I started telling myself that you're a bad person... That's why I treated you like I did, I tried to get rid of these feelings... I know this wasn't the right way, I've always felt bad for treating you like this because I never actually wanted to hurt you... I know my behavior was stupid, I was a complete idiot..." meanwhile, the boy was full-on crying, confessing all this brought up all those overwhelming feelings inside him and he felt like he would faint.

Jooheon had no idea what to say or do. He had expected everything but this. Changkyun liked him?  
As he heard the boy's sobs, he quickly searched his bag for a pack of tissues, handing them to the younger.

"I'm really sorry" Changkyun said, "If you want me to move to another room, I will."

Jooheon shook his head. "No... I don't want you to move. I just..." he shook his head. "I wish you had just talked to me..."

"I was scared you would laugh at me... I didn't know anything about you after all... And you seemed like that cool guy with loads of friends and that intimidated me even more..."

"I understand that. It must have been very hard for you in general, a new school, new people, and then a crush on someone who seems very popular... I guess that would be a bit too much for everyone." Jooheon smiled lightly. He was glad Changkyun was finally talking to him about everything. Yes, his actions had been stupid, but doesn't everyone make stupid decisions sometimes?

"Thank you." the younger mumbled. "Hey do you have anything to drink left?"

"Yes. It's not a lot though, but you can have it." He handed Changkyun his water bottle. As the younger reached for it through the dark, his fingers brushed Jooheon's hand, making him smile.

"Are you really scared of the dark?"

"Yes... My phone's flashlight really helped, but now it's just... I'm scared that I can't see what's coming, you know. I feel alone and unsafe in the dark."

"I see. We can't use my phone either since the battery is too low... But you're not alone, I'm here with you. And we're all alone in a close space, there's absolutely nothing dangerous here."

Jooheon smiled at the boy's words. "I already feel a lot safer now that I know you don't actually hate me."

Changkyun chuckled and moved to sit next to the older. "That's good. Still, I really hope we will get out of here soon. I really have to use the bathroom."

It took about half an hour, before the light flickered and went back on. Then, the elevator started moving. After a few seconds the doors opened and they were greeted by two electricians.

"We are free~"Jooheon happily but tiredly exclaimed and got up from the floor, grabbing his bag. The two boys left the elevator, thanked the men and eventually went to their room, where Jooheon immediately flopped down on his bed while Changkyun went to the bathroom. When he came back, the older had already fallen asleep.

...

"Hey, wake up! We're gonna be late!"

Jooheon tiredly opened his eyes. 

Next to his bed stood Changkyun, who was in the process of pulling a t-shirt over his head. 

It took him a moment to process what was going on, then he quickly got up. "Shit, what time is it?" 

"Almost eight." 

Jooheon groaned. They totally would be late. 

Five minutes later, they had gotten dressed and taken their bags. But although they ran to school, they were fifteen minutes late for the first lesson, which made the teacher give them detention - he seemed to have a bad day today. 

When they finally had lunch break a few hours later, Jooheon sat with his best friends Wonho and Minhyuk at their usual table. 

"Hey, why were you late today? You and Changkyun? Also, why did you come together?" Minhyuk grinned and took a bite of his sandwich. 

"We had some problems yesterday when we came home. We got suck in the elevator for.. I don't know how long. But it sucked. I guess we both just slept in because the day was so exhausting." 

"Oh no. How was it to be trapped in there? I would die..." Wonho mumbled. 

"It was due to a power blackout.. There were no lights and my phone didn't work for long and you know how much I hate darkness. But" he lowered his voice, "Changkyun and I finally talked a lot and he told me why he was being strange to me and apologised and now I guess we're friends." 

The other two grinned at each other. "Ohh, so our Honey finally got closer to his crush~" Wonho giggled and the younger his face behind his hands. 

"Shut up hyung..." he mumbled and glared at him through his fingers. "I should have never told you about that..." 

Minhyuk laughed. "Oh look, there he is. Don't you want to invite him over?" 

Jooheon looked at the door and saw Changkyun enter. He noticed how the boy glanced over at him and got up, approaching him. 

"Hey, do you wanna sit with us?" 

Changkyun smiled lightly. "Sure, thank you." 

They went back to Jooheon's friends and sat down, Changkyun next to Jooheon. 

After a few minutes Minhyuk exchanged a look with Wonho and they got up. 

"So we'll get going guys, see you later at class." Wonho said. 

"Have fun." Minhyuk added and grinned, then they left. 

"What did he mean by that?" Changkyun asked, a little confused. 

Jooheon chuckled. "Well he kinda ships us." 

"Oh, really? Although I'm known as the guy who hates you?" 

"Yeah, well, I might have been pretty excited about you when you came to our class. Since that day we're his OTP and he almost wrote a story about us." 

Now, Changkyun laughed. "Oh god, really? So what's our ship-name then?" 

"It's JooKyun. I swear he's totally into that. He was so disappointed when you started hating me." 

"That poor boy. So do you think he will now start trying to bring us together?" 

Joohen smiled. "Who knows? Oh..." 

"What is it?" 

"Well, we have detention together. He probably will make up fantasies about what happens there." 

Hearing this, Changkyun almost choked on his coke. "Dude... He's really a crazy fanboy. I think I'll just carry on hating you." 

They both laughed, then the bell rang, announcing the end of the break. 

... 

When the two of them finally were allowed to leave the school after half an hour of detention, it had started to rain. They hurried home, but when they entered their room, they were completely drenched. 

"Damn, these pants were freshly washed and now they're full of mud." Changkyun complained, while they got out of the wet clothes. 

"Wow you're such a poor boy." Jooheon laughed and grabbed a towel to dry his bare upper body. 

Changkyun threw his shirt at the older. "You shut up. Or else." 

Jooheon just laughed and put on some sweatpants. "Or else what?" 

"Or I will punish you." 

"Wow, that just got kinky." 

The younger shot him a glare and got dressed himself, before walking past Jooheon. "Nice abs by the way." 

Suddenly, Jooheon felt his face heat up. He had not expected Changkyun to say this, and he had no idea how to react to this. 

"Um- thanks..." he eventually stuttered and quickly put on a new t-shirt. Then, he saw Changkyun smile at him. 

"You're cute when you're shy." 

"At least I don't start hating people when I like them." 

"Ey..." Changkyun grumbled and hugged his room mate from behind, making him turn around. 

"Hm?" Jooheon smiled and put his hands on the younger's shoulders. "Do you like hugs?" 

"I just like hugging you." 

The older grinned in awe and nuzzled his face in the other boy's hair. "Who would have thought we would stand here like this one day?" 

"Well, I always wished for it..." Changkyun pulled back. "I'm so sorry for being such an idiot... I was just scared of my feelings..." 

Jooheon softly lied his hand on Changkyun's cheek. "As long as that's over now, I forgive you." 

"It is, I promise. I don't want to hurt you ever again." 

... 

It was wo weeks later, when they were invited to a party at Wonho's house. 

The party was still going well after a few hours and at the moment, Jooehon and Changkyun were sitting in the garden on a bench, watching a few party guests playing around in the pool. Changkyun had his head rested on Jooheon's shoulder, while the latter had an arm around his friend's shoulders. 

"Awww you two are so cute!" they suddenly heard Minhyuk's voice and a second later, the boy stood in front of them. "Have you guys had that amazing drink yet? It's so good~" 

Jooheon shook his head. "No alcohol for me tonight. My stomach has been a bit weird today, I don't wanna puke." 

Minhyuk giggled. He obviously had had a few of the 'amazing drinks'. "What about your boyfriend?" 

"He only had a beer and is almost asleep, I won't let him drink more for now." 

As Minhyuk had left after whining about how boring they were in his eyes, he left them alone and Chankyun looked up at his room mate. 

"He called me your boyfriend and you didn't say anything about it." he grinned tiredly. 

"He's drunk, let him be a fanboy." Jooheon responded, not looking at the boy. 

Changkyun kept staring at him for a few more seconds, before leaning in to kiss Jooheon on the cheek, eventually making him turn his head. 

"What was that for?" 

"Just felt like it." 

The older chuckled. "Okay. You look really tired, do you want to go home?" 

Changkyun nodded and they got up, leaving the place. 

When they arrived at the dorm, they lied in their beds and Jooheon switched off the light. There was silence in the small room for a while, and Jooheon thought the younger had already fallen asleep, when he suddenly heard the boy's voice. 

"Honey~" he mumbled and Jooheon heard him move around in his bed. 

"Yes?" 

"I like you so much you know..." 

Jooheon chuckled. "I like you too, Changkyunie." 

"How much do you like me? On a scale of zero to marriage." 

Laughing, the older noticed how Changkyun got out of his bed and came over to him. Then the younger flopped down right on his room mate, making him cough. Ignoring the latter's struggles, he got comfortable, hugging Jooheon. 

"Answer me, Honey~" he whispered. 

"Hmm" Jooheon returned the hug and covered the boy with the blanket. "Let's say... relationship." 

"Do you want me as your boyfriend?" 

The boy's whispers send chills over Jooheon's body, and he nodded. "I'd love to." 

Changkyun did not answer, but Jooheon felt how the boy's hug tightened and heard a light chuckle, making him smile. 

... 

When he woke up around noon the next day, Changkyun was still lying next to him, as well in the process of waking up. They quietly gave each other a shy smile, before Changkyun closed his eyes again. 

"Good morning" he mumbled. 

"Morning~ How do you feel?" 

"I'm good. I just had a beer, that does nothing." he laughed, then looked Jooheon in the eyes, suddenly looking a bit shy. "Do you... remember what we talked last night?" 

"Of course." Jooheon moved, so that he eventually lied on top of Changkyun, grinning at the boy underneath him. "Do you remember that you're mine now?" 

The younger smiled happily, nodding. "Of course. How could I ever forget that?" His hands moved to the older's neck, pulling him down, until their lips almost touched. 

In this moment, there was a knock on the door. 

Jooheon groaned and was about to say something, but Changkyun quickly kept him from that and kissed him. 

The older instantly responded to the contact, closed his eyes and softly moved his lips against the younger's. He felt nothing but pure bliss and happiness, his heart was beating faster, and he did not care at all when he heard the door open. 

Then, both of them were startled by an excited squeal. and looked up, seeing Minhyuk stand at the door. 

"Oh my god FINALLY!" he yelled, jumping around, "JooHyuk is real!!" 

One second later, he was hit by a pillow. 

"Get out, stalker!" Jooheon laughed and kicked him out, then lied back next to Changkyun. "I feel like he will really write a fanfiction now." 

○


	16. DaeJae - Confessions

It was the night after a long day of training and it was silent in the van as they were taken back to the dorm. Most of them were sleeping or listening to music, but Daehyun and Youngjae were both wide awake,staring out of opposite windows, giving each other the silent treatment. They had been in a fight earlier and Youngjae had sworn to himself that he would not be the one to give in since he was not the one who had started the problems.

Daehyun had been ignoring him for ages, whenever Youngjae wanted to hug him or get closer in general, Daehyun got annoyed and told him off. Then today, the whole thing had escalated. Youngjae could not take it anymore, he had confronted Daehyun during a training break and it had turned into the biggest fight they ever had resulting in tears for Youngjae - and for Daehyun, but the younger did not know this.

Youngjae sighed and leaned his head against the cold window. He missed Daehyun. The jokes, the hugs, the smiles... He could not handle being ignored by his best friend anymore. Especially because he did not even know why Daehyun was acting like this in the first place.

The car stopped and they got out and took the elevator to their floor. Daehyun and Youngjae went to their shared room where the older immediately grabbed his towel, tank top and sweat pants and went to the bathroom.

Youngjae sat down on his bed and sighed. This would be hard. He and Daehyun usually talked before sleeping. They would lie in their beds in the dark, talking about their thoughts, sharing their worries and laugh together. Today would be the first time in years that this would not happen and Youngjae didn't know how to sleep with this awful silence.

After fifteen minutes, Daehyun came back and went to sit on his bed, playing with his phone. He did not even look up when Youngjae left the room.

The boy took his time in the shower, hoping that Daehyun would already be asleep when he came back, but although he had spent almost an hour, when he came back to their room, he found the vocalist standing next to the door, waiting for him.

He wanted to walk past him, but Daehyun caught his wrist and held him back. "Youngjae..." his voice was low and he looked to the floor. "Wait."

"Will you yell at me again?"

"No... I'm sorry, Jae.... I really didn't mean to, I'm so sorry..." he took Youngjae's hands with his and looked him in the eyes. "I was just... I... I don't know how to word it..."

"You were an idiot, Daehyun."

"Yes... I know and I'm sorry... Please, Jae..." he moved closer and suddenly, Youngjae felt his back meet the wall. But Daehyun still came closer.

The boy felt his best friend's soft breath on his lips, while he could not look away from Daehyun's beautiful dark eyes.

"Please forgive me..." he whispered and a second later, his lips were on Youngjae's. The latter's eyes automatically closed, but at the same time his brain was trying to understand what was happening. Why did Daehyun kiss him? Especially after ignoring him for weeks...

When Daehyun felt that Youngjae was not responding to the kiss, he pulled away and stared at the younger, still holding his hands. "I love you, JaeJae... I always have..."

Youngjae just kept looking at him. He did not move, he tried to deal with all this, everything that was just happening. He had expected everything, but this was something he had never thought of. Well- he had definitely had a huge crush on Daehyun for a long time, until he could convince himself to forget it because this could never work. He knew he had to focus on their music, so he had completely banned thoughts like these from his head.

Eventually, he slowly shook his head and went over to the couch in the corner of their room.

"Daehyun, no.." he said quietly when they sat next to each other. He avoided to look his best friend in the eyes, he knew he was probably hurting his feelings and he did not want that at all.

"Why not?"

"If someone finds out..."

"Thats the only reason? But in general you would-?"

A sigh was the answer. "I don't know, Dae. This- this is not right..."

"Why? Jae, as long as it feels right, it is. Fuck what they say."

"Dae..."

"No. Jae just tell me. Does it feel right? Do you... Feel the same for me?"

The younger let his head hang back. "Yeah" he eventually admitted. "It feels right... I- I want this, Dae... I want you..."

The older looked at him and something in his dark eyes made Youngjae's heart rate increase. "JaeJae... You're so cute..." Daehyun whispered and leaned in again.

Their lips connected and slowly, Youngjae felt himself being pushed down to lie on his back. The older's hands went under his shirt and started caressing his body, while their kiss deepened. Youngjae tilted his head back and sighed deeply, making Daehyun chuckle.

When they broke the kiss, Daehyun's breath had clearly gotten heavier. "Say that last sentence again." he demanded while one of his hands came out of the boy's shirt and went in his hair, gripping in it lightly.

"I want you, Daehyun." Youngjae's voice was raspy, he felt himself getting excited. After blocking the feelings to Daehyun for such a long time, the need to follow them was even stronger now. He sneaked one of his hands around Daehyun's body and pulled his shirt up, eventually removing it.

"Looks like our JaeJae is getting impatient already..." he smirked at him before kissing him again.

It did not even take them two more minutes, until they both were left in their underwear, hands all over each other, only breaking their kiss for taking a quick breath from time to time.

"Shit, Dae..." Youngjae panted after a while. Daehyun's hand had suddenly started rubbing him through the thin layer of his boxers, making him fully hard. "Fuck" he moaned and let his head sink back onto the sofa pillow, his eyes closes. Small, quiet mewls left his mouth, as Daehyun increased the pressure and pace of his hand. He looked down at the younger, studying every little expression on his face, making sure Youngjae really felt good.

But suddenly the younger had a thought and forced himself to open his eyes.   
"Dae, wait..." he said weakly, making the vocalist stop the movements of his hand.

"What's wrong?"

Youngjae took another deep breath and lookef him straight in the eyes. "If we do this, I want this to not just be a one night thing."

"It won't be. I promise. I said I love you, and I really mean it." he kissed the boy's cheek.

"Thank you." He wrapped his arms around Daehyun's neck and pulled him down, involving him into another kiss, until Daehyun's hand disappeared from his crotch.

"Dae, what -"

"Touch yourself."

Youngjae looked up at him. "What?"

"I want to see you touching yourself, baby... It must be so hot..." he whispered, his eyes never leaving the younger.

Slowly, Youngjae reached down, wrapping his fingers around his own dick.

"Remove your boxers, Youngjae."

Shit, that was hot... Youngjae thought and reached to pull his clothing down with the other hand. Daehyun helped him, pulling it off completely, before bringing his focus back to Youngjae's hand, which he started moving along his member in a rather slow, but intense pace.

The older groaned at the scene and when Youngjae opened his eyes, he noticed Daehyun had as well taken off his underwear and was stroking his own dick in the same pace as Youngjae.

Daehyun could only handle this situation for about a minute, before he leaned back down to kiss the younger once again and, at the same time, groping his left ass cheek.

"Do you want me to make you feel good, JaeJae?"

"Shit, yes..."

"What was that?"

"Yes, Daehyun, please make me feel good..."

"Well that sounds better doesn't it" Daehyun smirked and reached over to his night stand, pulling a small bottle of lube from his drawer.

Before Youngjae could wonder why Daehyun had lube in his night stand, all his thoughts were wiped away when Daehyun started sucking on his left nipple.

His eyes shut closely and he released a rather loud moan, quickly covering his mouth with his hand afterwards, while Daehyun just laughed. He looked up at Youngjae.

"Do you like that, hm?" he pecked his lips before opening the bottle of lube and spreading some on two of his fingers.   
"Ready?"

Youngjae just nodded. He was unable to form words, the feelings Daehyun was giving him were too good for his mind and body to process at once.

Daehyun started kissing him, softly pulling on his lower lip, while he brought his fingers to the boy's hole. When he first touched it, he felt how Youngjae's body twitched and the boy could not hold back a short yet loud moan.

"You're so sensitive..." Daehyun chuckled and carefully started pushing one of his fingers in.

I'm response, Youngjae twitched again and started panting heavily. He had never experienced this before and everything he felt was so intense, he barely knew how to keep control over himself.

"Tell me when something feels wrong" Daehyun said and he nodded. He already knew there would be nothing wrong. It was Daehyun, and he would let this guy do everything to him.

When Daehyun added a second finger after a while and started thrusting them in and out of him, Youngjae quickly grabbed a pillow and covered his face with it. He could not hold back the noises he was making and waking the others was the last thing he wanted. Daehyun just commented his actions with a smile, before pulling his fingers out and leaning towards Youngjae's ear.

"Alright baby, are sure you really want this?"

"Stop asking... Just do it..." Youngjae said under his breath.

Daehyun sat up and giggled, taking the pillow from the younger's face and throwing it onto the bed. "Okay. But don't hide your voice, it's really sexy." He pecked the boy's lips. "Do you need more preperation?"

Youngjae eagerly shook his head. "I can't wait anymore, I don't care if it hurts."

Daehyun nodded and spread lube all over his member. He positioned himself and looked down at his partner, Youngjae looked so beautiful in this moment. "God, I love you so much" he whispered before eventually pushing himself inside the younger.

The latter's eyes immediately closed and a loud "Fuuuck" left his lips. The feeling was incredible, he could not describe it. It hurt, yes, but strangely enough, it felt like the pain turned him on even more and the singer had no idea how regain control over himself. His body was shaking, moans and gasps left his throat almost without a break, and Daehyun was only moving slowly.

The older stared down at him, in disbelief of how much Youngjae turned him on. He had always found the younger really sexy, but this was a whole different level and he really doubted that any of them would last very long.

Eventually he involved the younger into a really heated kiss, since his moans were really getting a bit too loud and although Daehyun did not care if the other members found out, they should avoid letting the neighbours notice anything.

"Daehyun" Youngjae whimpered, "faster..."

"Can you handle that?" the older asked with a grin, but he didn't even wait for the shaky nod the boy gave him before quickening his movements rapidly.

Youngjae underneath him was just a screaming mess, but Daehyun was not much better himself. The closer he got to his climax, the harder he went. The harder he went, the louder Youngjae's moans got.

"Daehyun" the boy suddenly brought out, "I- I'm so close..."

Quickly, Daehyun pulled him up so Youngjae was basically sitting in his lap. The younger wrapped his arms around Daehyun's body and hid his face in the crook of the singers neck, while one of Daehyun's hands went down to jerk Youngjae off. During all of this, he did not stop thrusting into him for one single second.

It only took one or two more minutes until Youngjae's whole body tensed up and he came in between their bodies, instinctively biting Daehyun's shoulder to hold back the scream that was threatening to leave his throat.

Daehyun came just a few seconds after him, thrusting a few more times to ride out his orgasm, before pulling out, making Youngjae shudder.  
Exhausted, he hugged his partner tightly. "Jae... Are you okay?"

"Yes... Fuck, Daehyun, what did we just do..." he giggled and lied down on his back. "The others will kill us if they heard anything..."

Daehyun chuckled. "Let them kill us, I don't regret anything..."

"You're right..." he sighed deeply, still not fully in control of his breath. "Shit, I'm so tired..."

"Let's go to sleep then." the older said and Youngjae wanted to get up, but was held back by a stinging pain in his backside.

"Dae, what did you do... Damn this hurts..." he hissed and carefully lied back down.

"That will get better, don't worry. It's no surprise, just wait till tomorrow." Daehyun picked him up from the sofa and laid him down on his bed, before switching off the light and joining him under the warm blanket. He made sure to hold Youngjae closely to himself and caressed his cheek softly. "Sleep well, JaeJae."

The younger smiled happily. "You too, Dae. I love you..."


	17. BangLo - Reunion

Junhong was excited, since Yongguk had invited him and the other four boys over for dinner tonight. They had not seen each other for quite a while, since everyone was busy with his own schedule. But today he would finally see the others again and he could not wait to get to Yongguk's place. The leader had asked him to come earlier to help him cook, and Junhong had agreed immediately.

He had never told anyone, but Yongguk had always been someone special to him. The two of them had sometimes had the deepest talks in his life back when they were still under T$, and Junhong missed these talks a lot. He missed Yongguk in general, he wanted to see him more often, but since they both had their own careers now, this was not that easy so he was even more happy when they got to meet.

Around five in the afternoon, he arrived at Yongguk's home. As he had rang the doorbell, he could already hear Tigger's excited barks from inside the apartment and when Yongguk opened the door, the dog came running to him, greeting him happily.

Yongguk chuckled at his dog's behavior and hugged Junhong tightly. "Hey Junnie, how are you?"

"I'm good. Happy to finally meet you tho."

Yongguk let him go and smiled. "Yeah, I missed you a lot... Come in, it's pretty cold out here."

They went to the kitchen, where the older grabbed a bottle of wine. "Want some?"

Junhong nodded and waited until his friend had poured the wine into two glasses.

"Do you like it?" Yongguk asked, "My brother gave it to me so I hope it's okay for everyone."

"Yes, it's good, don't worry. So what are we gonna cook today?"

They emptied the whole bottle during their cooking, and when the doorbell rang two hours later, Junhong already felt a bit tipsy.

The whole time he had been cooking with Yongguk, the older had been very touchy. He would put his hand on Junhong's shoulder when talking to him, their hands would touch while working next to each other, and sometimes Yongguk just hugged him out of nowhere and told him how much he had missed the boy.

Junhong was a bit surprised by his friend acting like this, but it also made him very happy, so he did not mind at all. It was probably just the alcohol.

When the others arrived, the thoughts about Yongguk's unusual behavior disappeared from his head and he started talking to his friends about all the things that had been happening in the past months. 

After having dinner at the kitchen table together, they gathered in the living room to watch some movies. Junhong sat on the sofa, next to Yongguk, while the others got comfortable on the armchairs or the carpet. 

After about half of the first film, Junhong noticed how Yongguk looked at him for a moment, before putting an arm around his shoulders. When the boy looked at him, he just gave him a soft smile and Junhong could not help but smile back. Yongguk just was too sweet for him to handle. 

Responding to the action of the older, he scooted closer and leaned his head on Yonguk's shoulder, getting comfortable. Then, he heard how the leader let out a soft chuckle. 

"Junnie" he whispered, "Do you want to stay over night?" 

The younger nodded. He really did not want to leave, he enjoyed being with Yongguk way too much. Sometimes, he thought about how it would be to live together with the older, and he really loved the idea. Despite this fact, he had never told Yongguk about these thoughts. The older seemed to be happy with living alone in his apartment, so Junhong kept it in his imagination. 

"Yongguk hyung, do you have snacks?" Youngjae asked, when they finished the first film, and the leader nodded. 

"In the second kitchen cupboard. Sorry, I don't feel like getting up right now." 

Youngjae laughed and got up from the carpet. "I see. You two look very cute like this~" 

Junhong grinned at this. He was happy that Yongguk did not get up, he really enjoyed the cuddling and he did not want it to end. 

It was about half an hour later, when he felt himself getting tired. It had been a long day for him and the alcohol - they were still drinking wine during their movie session - made his head feel heavy, so he changed his position and lied down, his head on Yongguk's thighs. He did not have to worry whether this was okay for the older, as he felt a hand in his hair, softly playing with it. Smiling, he closed his eyes and a few minutes later, he fell asleep. 

...

"Hey, Junnie. Wake up~" 

He tiredly opened his eyed and looked straight into Yongguk's face. The older smiled at him. 

"The others are leaving, do you want to say goodbye?" 

Junhong nodded and slowly got up, yawning. He followed the others to the front door and hugged everyone, before waving goodbye. 

"Do you want to help me clean up or are you too tired?" Yongguk asked as they had gone back to the living room. 

"I'll help, of course." 

The older chuckled. "Great. Can you do the living room while I take care of the kitchen?" 

"Sure." 

When Junhong was done with his part, he went over to the window and looked outside into the night through the cold glass. Now that the others were gone, the topic from earlier came back to his mind. 

He had no idea why Yongguk was being so touchy today, and while he thought about this, he remembered that the leader had also been texting him more recently. There had been a message at least every second day, mostly just something simple like 'how are you', but still it was more than he usually got from any of the members since they had started their solo careers.

Of course he did not have anything against this, he really liked that the older seemed to like being close to him, he just really would like to know the reason for all this. 

The boy was too deep in his thoughts to notice that the person he was thinking about entered the room and stepped behind him, until he felt Yongguk's hands on his shoulders. 

"What's out there?" the older quietly ask with a soft smile and Junhong suddenly got goosebumps at the sound of his friend's deep voice. He turned around to look Yongguk in the eyes. 

"What's going on with you today?" he asked quietly, as the older pulled him into a hug. 

"I'm just happy to have you with me... I've really missed you a lot, Junhong." 

The younger smiled. "I've missed you too, hyung..." 

He closed his eyes and suddenly felt Yongguk's lips on his cheek. "You know... Lately I've been thinking a lot about you... And I realized how much I need you in my life..." 

Junhong pulled back a little to look him in the eyes. "What do you mean?" 

"Well..." Yongguk wiped a strand of hair out of the boy's face, "I just... miss your laugh and your smile and just your presence... I want to have you with me more often..." He sighed and shook his head. "Sorry if that sounds strange... I just... I feel a bit lonely these days and I've been wanting to have you with me all the time... Tell me if it's getting too much for you though." 

"Don't worry... I like being with you, hyung." 

This made the older smile. "I'm glad to hear that... To be honest, Junhong, I-" he trailed off and broke the eye contact, suddenly being insecure about what he had wanted to say. Should he really risk it? Should he really tell him? What if the younger did not react in a positive way? Shit... 

"What is it?" Junhong looked at him in confusion. Yongguk suddenly seemed nervous. What was going on? 

The latter took a deep breath. "I can't stop thinking about something. I- These thoughts just started a while ago and it's getting hard to ignore them..." 

"What is it you're thinking about?" 

Yongguk bit his lip and closed his eyes. "I'm not sure if I can just tell you... I'm scared of your reaction..." 

A smile spread on the younger's face and he raised his hands to put them on his friend's shoulders. "Yongguk hyung... After all these years, you should know you can tell me everything. No matter what it is, don't worry about anything. You're the one who taught me this." 

A sigh was the answer. "You're right. It's just that this is something I've never talked about to anyone and it has directly to do with you so I'm a bit nervous." 

"It's okay. You can just say it, what are these thoughts about?" 

"Well... These thoughts are- Um... I've been wondering how it would be to... to kiss you..." The last few words were nothing but a whisper, but surely Junhong had heard him. However, there was no answer from the younger and Yongguk started regretting what he had just said, when the boy's hands disappeared from his shoulders. 

"Really?" 

He nodded, still not looking up. 

He thought he had fucked up, he thought he had ruined their friendship, but then Junhong said something he had not expected at all. 

"Do you want to try?" 

Finally, Yongguk looked at him. "What?" 

"Do you want to kiss me?" 

Carefully, Yongguk nodded, still in disbelief of what was happening. 

"Then go on..." 

"Are you serious?" 

Junhong chuckled. "Yes. Did I ever lie to you?" 

"But why-" 

"Because I've been thinking the same about you." 

This left Yongguk speechless. He just looked at the boy in front of him, wondering how he had deserved this, before slowly leaning in, his eyes closing in the second their lips met. 

The kiss was slow at first, both of them still being a bit insecure, but after a little while Junhong felt the older's hands on hist waist, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. 

He realized how fast his heart was beating and could not help but smile. This right now felt so right, and he wondered what had taken them so long to do this. He felt like something that had been missing finally had come, and surely he did not want it to ever leave again. 

None of them said anything, when they broke the kiss. They just looked each other in the eyes, feeling pure happiness. Then, Yongguk pulled him into a hug once again, but this time it felt different from all the hugs before, as if a barrier had been broken. 

"Junnie?" Yongguk eventually whispered. 

"Mhm?" 

"I love you..." 

"I love you too, Yongguk hyung." 

○


End file.
